The Top ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Victims Who Kinda Had It Coming
Most of the casualties from the Paddy’s Pub gang’s adventures are innocent civilians who didn’t deserve the consequences of Dennis, Dee, Charlie, Mac and Frank’s actions — that even includes the shushers.
At its core, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a show about horrible people doing horrible things to each other and strangers before losing interest in whatever the scheme was and going to get drunk. The psychopaths of Paddy’s Pub are arsonists, kidnappers, terrorists and all other kinds of terrible criminal labels as they cause untold physical, mental and property damage to the fine people of Pennsylvania. However, for all the innocent Rickety Crickets whom Dee lures away from priesthood and into the life of a disfigured street rat, there have been a small handful of genuine a-holes who deserved the dire consequences of their run-ins with the It’s Always Sunny crew.
Here are those a-holes in ascending order of awfulness, starting with…
Those Bike Thieves
This one’s really putting the “kinda” in “kinda had it coming.” We’re including those thieving little brats who stole Mac and Charlie’s bikes in “The Gang Gets New Wheels” based on the assumption that none of them were actually murdered when the two grown adults returned for a revenge beat-down. Assuming they all survived, this legendary ass-kicking could have been a teachable moment for some pre-teen monsters.
Brad Fisher
To a certain degree, it’s almost understandable why the once-and-future pimple face Brad Fisher wanted to break some hearts in “The Waitress is Getting Married.” After his post-high school glow up, Brad had good reason to show off his clean face to the women who made him feel worthless as a teenager. However, it’s one thing to stunt on your exes by getting hot after they dumped you and another one entirely to leave them at the altar out of spite. Charlie’s “wedding gift” was poetic justice for this jerk.
Sage the Sanctimonious Hippy
The victim of “The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby” should thank goddess that he drew Dennis’ ire in the early seasons when the Golden God’s revenge schemes were more like the plots of mid-budget 1980s comedies and less like the subject of a Netflix docuseries. But seriously, what kind of pretentious asshole gatekeeps literal garbage clean up from “straight-edge, mainline, weekend warrior” types just because they have cashmere sweaters and quiffs? Watching a tree get bulldozed has never been so satisfying.
The College Kids
To be fair to the fraternity brothers who got poisoned at the end of “The Gang Reignites The Rivalry” (along with Dee), it’s definitely creepy for a couple of guys in their early 30s to crash a college party and try to shower with college girls, even if their buddy was a brother back in the day. However, the way these college kids treated that taser like it was a pledge paddle should have gotten them expelled from whichever unspecified university they attended.
Bill Ponderosa
Pondy is not, in fact, the coolest, and it’s no mystery as to why his entire family hates him. Between lying to women about having had a vasectomy, spiking the milk at the McPoyle wedding with bath salts and getting grabby with a “sweet young thing” at the roller rink, this guy is so sleazy he makes Frank look like a Boy Scout in comparison.
If anything, the negative impact that the main It’s Always Sunny gang has had on his life isn’t nearly enough of a punishment for Pondy’s sins. Dee may have ended his marriage and Frank may be the worst AA sponsor in history, but Pondy should be partying in prison by now.
