10 Animal Hybrids That Somehow Work
I like to think that I generally have a good understanding of how life works. Not in terms of meaning, of course. That’s still a philosophical egg we all have to sit on until we get hit by a city bus. I just mean in terms of propagation — of how two animals boinking produces more, and so on and so forth. A key part of that, at least the way I was taught, is that animals of different species cannot produce a new animal. This, it turns out, is not always true. Which is a real whopper to try to cover in high school bio, but I still would have liked a warning.
For example, here are 10 animal combos that somehow produce a brand new animal and spit in the face of the almighty…
Pizzly Bear
If an iceberg with a particularly randy polar bear happens to float down into Canada or the like, and that polar bear falls madly in lust with a grizzly, they can indeed have a child. After what must be a truly terrifying bit of mating, we end up with what can be called either a pizzly bear or a grolar bear, neither of which feel heavy on the effort.
Liger
Made famous by the boundless imagination of Napoleon Dynamite is the lion-tiger hybrid known as the liger. I think most of us, especially given the source, figured this was just a flight of fancy, but they do exist in real life, and somehow look worse than either cat on its own.
Zonkey
I feel like a horse making a viable child with a zebra would be much less upsetting to my worldview. They’re at least basically two colorways of the same animal in my head. The fact that a zebra and a donkey can produce a “zonkey” and that it will look exactly like what a six-year-old would draw when asked? Worrying.
Beefalo
Top-tier name, even if the physical product looks like a cow if it was a strip-club bouncer. As you might be able to guess, the beefalo is a hybrid between a cow and a bison. Also, the first animal on this list I genuinely do want to taste.
Yakow
In a similar strain is the yakow or dzo, a cross between a cow and a yak that ends up producing the most metal-looking cow I’ve ever seen. Conan should be riding this shit across the tundra, sword aloft.
Cama
The cama is the offspring of a dromedary camel and a llama, apparently in search of high wool production. I assume another fun side mutation is that it’s an animal capable of producing an endless supply of spit to fire into your face.
Narluga
The narluga, a child of a beluga whale and a narwhal, is upsetting because they were just being made by star-crossed inter-species lovers in the wild until an Inuit hunter caught some really weird whales. They do not have little horns, sadly, which is like, the main reason to mate with a narwhal in my opinion.
Wholphin
The wholphin is a cross between a dolphin and a whale, which seems physically unpleasant to witness. The animals produced also look like a corporeal representation of the natural crime that created them. I have never seen such tortured eyes.
Pumapard
The pumapard, which sounds like some sort of antiquated French sword, is a cross between a puma (or cougar) and a leopard. It’s also the animal I most want as a pet, despite the fact it probably has an insane prey drive and internal knowledge of where jugular veins are located.
Chausie
The most easily and readily adoptable of the bunch is the Chausie, a combination of standard domestic cats and wild jungle cats, which just sounds like horrible news for your vases. If you want a cat but worry that it won’t be strong enough to destroy all your possessions, here’s your answer.
