Homer’s Four Most Romantic Moments on ‘The Simpsons’
Homer and Marge didn’t choo-choo-choose to spend their lives together so much as Bart’s conception welded them to one another, but every now and then, Dan Castellaneta’s most iconic character becomes Casanova.
No husband on The Simpsons is exactly an idyllic partner. In fact, the men of Springfield are such lousy lovers that, when the philandering Apu went on a Valentine’s Day mega marathon date that culminated in a private Elton John concert on this very day 25 years ago, Homer and his neighbors spend the entire holiday trying to sabotage Apu’s upstaging super-gesture instead of spoiling their own sweethearts. Come to think of it, most Valentine’s Days in Simpsons history are anything but romantic, as Lisa’s infamous slow-mo destruction of Ralph Wiggum’s tender heart can attest.
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However, despite Homer’s repeated failures at the most simple of romantic gestures, the Simpsons patriarch still managed to pull out a small handful of heartwarming moments that keep his patient partner Marge hopelessly in love with him. Here are Homer’s top four most romantic moments in Simpsons history, starting with…
His First Kiss With Marge
A stickler might be hesitant to ascribe this amorous moment to Homer when Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar was the one doing the smooching. In the Season 15 episode “The Way We Weren’t,” Homer and Marge share the stories of their respective first kisses, contradicting the canon that they were both each other's principal peck in high school. As it turns out, a hair iron debacle, a fake name, a switchblade to the eye and the innocent romance of summer camp first brought the pair together when they were just 10 years old. Unfortunately, Homer never made it to their second summer camp date — instead, Camp Flab-Away snagged another conscript.
His Post-Prom Problem
There’s something refreshing about Marge’s initial rejection of Homer in the iconic Season Two episode “The Way We Was” — in so many pieces of 1980s and 1990s media, it seems like the writers think that there is nothing more romantic or passionate than lying to woman’s face and manipulating her into romance. Homer’s scheme to pretend to learn French from Marge backfires, and she ends up going to the big dance with Artie Ziff while Homer walks home in the mud — only for his future wife to pick him up off the side of the road. Homer closes the flashback with his most honest admission to Marge, saying, “I got a problem. Once you stop this car, I’m gonna hug you and kiss you and then I’ll never be able to let you go.” And he never has — except in that shitty Nirvana episode.
His Literally Half-Assed Proposal
Most women wouldn’t consider a post-mini-golf-impregnation proposal with an ass crack in their face as the “most beautiful moment of my life,” but, hey, who are they to judge Marge? The Season Three episode “I Married Marge” features a flashback to Bart’s windmill conception and the ensuing fallout for Homer and Marge’s personal and professional lives. The ensuing ceremony at Shotgun Pete’s isn’t nearly as romantic as Marge somehow found Homer’s bungled proposal to be, but he proves himself to be a barely passable patriarch by landing a job at the nuclear power plant just in time for Bart’s delivery.
Choosing A Date With Marge Over A Date With Duff
If there was ever a single inanimate object that could rival Homer’s wife and kids for the top spot in his embattled heart, it would definitely be Duff beer. In the Season Four episode “Duffless,” Homer gets himself in trouble with the law over a DUI incident, inspiring Marge to challenge her husband to go one month without his favorite malt beverage, a trial in which Homer somehow succeeds. During that month, Homer saves money, he loses weight and he begins to act like the kind of man who would choose love over liquor — until he rushes over to Moe’s as soon as he passes the test.
Rethinking his relationship with beer and with his wife, Homer instead decides to take Marge on a bike ride and a serenade as they sail into the sunset singing “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” like a twosome of tone-deaf lovebirds.
