There Are So Many Better Reasons to Despise Tim Allen Than the One Twitter’s Using

Right now, misguided members of the Twitter outrage community are piling on Tim Allen because they (probably mistakenly) think that he hates dogs. It’s much more likely that the Home Improvement star and proud conservative comic has more acrimony for cats — they kill more rats.

Mark Twain once said, “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.” Then, Elon Musk bought Twitter and the lies all got blue check marks while the truth got banned for disagreeing with him. Now, with the platform’s fact-checking apparatus dismantled, Twitter is a cesspool of misinformation and misquoted non-stories that get spun into nonsensical narratives of transgression and misbehavior. Even the conservatives are now finding themselves on the business end of the social media spin cycle. 

Allen, a confessed drug trafficker and reactionary Republican mouthpiece in entertainment media, has given the public plenty of reasons to detest his being’s every fiber. But dogs? As far as we know, Allen hasn’t done anything bad to a dog besides play one in a crappy reboot and possibly threaten a K-9 unit with an OD. However, according to Twitter, Allen once claimed that dogs are incapable of love — much like Twitter users are incapable of answering the simple question, “Source?”

As it turns out, the non-controversy stems from a line Allen delivered in a 2015 episode of his sitcom Last Man Standing in which his character, the guy’s guy and girl dad Max Baxter, ponders to the audience, “Animals don’t love. And they survive just fine.” While cold and more than a bit morose, this is a far cry from the inflammatory “dogs don’t have feelings” comment that has Twitter’s dog owners chasing their tails.

So, no, Tim Allen doesn’t have a vendetta against dogs. And, frankly, even if he did, it wouldn’t make the top three worst things about him — in factual reality, Allen is a bona fide felon who, when he was caught smuggling almost a pound and a half of cocaine into the country, snitched on all his buddies to get a light sentence. Since Allen inexplicably became a superstar of the insipid family comedy genre with Home Improvement and scored obscene paychecks from Disney in the shambling, undead Toy Story franchise, Allen has been a holier-than-thou, get-off-my-lawn conservative crank who demands permission to say the N-word and thumbs his nose at the “wokees” in playground-level put downs on Twitter.

And that’s the doggone truth.