Redditors Debate Whether George Costanza Should Have Been Charged With Murder
When George Costanza’s fiancee Susan died tragically after licking a few too many envelopes with cheap and ultimately toxic glue, he didn’t seem all that broken up about it. He’s not happy, exactly, but you’d guess an about-to-be groom would have a longer grieving period. If anything, George seems like a guy who can’t believe his luck.
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
But just because George isn’t devastated that his beloved died as a result of preparing for their wedding doesn’t mean he was guilty of a crime — or does it? After all, he bought the cheap envelopes! Redditor u/Andre-3005 brought that very question to the r/Seinfeld subreddit today: “Did George get away with murder?” Even more specifically, “Should George go to jail for knowingly buying toxic substances and not reporting it?”
Don't Miss
As usual, the question was greeted with answers both thoughtful and ridiculous. Let’s start with the smart-asses:
- “No, he was just being extremely careful with money,” wrote u/BinkledinkHunkerdunk. “He’s cheap?” sniped u/violetmoon120.
- u/Tsquare24 wondered, “Why didn’t she just use a glue stick after the first one tasted bad?” u/Preda1ien suggested another alternative, noting that the poisoning could have been averted. “All she needed was a slightly wet sponge.” The problem, according to u/Equivalent-Ad7207? “She’s not sponge worthy.”
- “Really I think a jury would have been more likely to convict him for killing Peterman's mother,” wrote u/Venice_Beach_218.
But as to the question of “Should George go to jail?” A few Redditors thought he could have been held accountable.
“Oh, yeah!” wrote u/Vivid-Teacher4189. “I just assumed he murdered her.”
u/Banned4Life4Ever agreed. “He got away with manslaughter at the very least.”
But most of Reddit’s Seinfeld fans agreed that George was an innocent man. In the thread’s most upvoted comment, u/cypress-avenue asked, “Shouldn’t the envelope company be to blame? Or the store that was selling them?”
u/thekyledavid laid out a more detailed case for absolving George:
“I don’t believe George was informed that the envelopes were toxic until after Susan died. If anything, the blame would fall with either the company who made them for not recalling them, or the stationary store for selling envelopes that weren’t safe. Susan saw what George selected and she still licked them. Clearly the typical person wouldn’t expect licking those envelopes would result in death. If George had licked the envelopes himself and he was the one who died, would that be ruled a suicide?”
That comment made u/everyday_barometer realize that George missed out on an opportunity. “George, or any other person in that situation, may well have been likely to sue due to Susan's death if not for the fact that George was happy he was no longer engaged.”
As everyone knows, George was not charged with a crime on the show. But that’s missing the larger point, according to u/BaltimoreBadger23. “The important thing is that he neither learned a valuable lesson nor showed any personal growth.”
