13 Funny Jokes About Aging
If you’re lucky, you’re gonna get old. While aging isn’t something we go out of our way to vie for, it’s still something we aim for all the same. That said, wrinkles, failing body parts and grandchildren aren’t always things to look forward to. In fact, your many trips around the sun are just getting you closer to your eventual destination: death. Of course, this journey and its subsequent pitfalls is one that many comedians have explored.
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
Which led us to gather some of the funniest jokes about aging throughout pop culture...
How Deon Cole Knew He Was Getting Old
“I know I’m getting old because one time I was having sex and I came so hard that I got cold.”
Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles
Saturday Night Live looked into what would happen to the Ninja Turtles after they’ve passed by their teens, 20s and 30s to explore their 40s. Not gonna lie, there’s a lot less cowabunga energy.
Old Key & Peele Talk Drake
Key & Peele knows that Drake’s appeal is outside the older demographic, but that doesn’t mean that old men can’t have opinions on him even though they don’t know about him.
Sinbad on Older Friendship
“The older you get, the less people you need in your life. Ain’t nobody got a hundred friends on Facebook! Two! You just need two people to check in on you to see if you had a stroke!”
‘The Simpsons’ Tells You Your Future
Ali Wong Is Jealous of 21-Year-Olds
Wong hates 21-year-olds because of their better digestive systems and inner thighs. Needless to say, the youth is wasted on the young.
‘Jackass’ Grandpa
For Jackass Forever, Johnny Knoxville disguised as an old man and orchestrated a prank/stunt at a furniture store. Admittedly, a real geriatric probably would’ve likely died.
Steve Byrne Looks Good (For 40)
Middle-Aged Man
SNL debuted new heroes for youngsters, Middle-Aged Man, and his sidekick Drinking Buddy!
Wanda Sykes on Growing Facial Hair as She’s Aged
“The other day I pulled a hair out of my neck that was so long that I thought my neck was growing bangs!”
Ray Romano Makes Friends With Doctors
“I’m older now. I’m over 50. I’ll make the time to be your friend, if you’re a doctor. Sir, are you a doctor? What kind?”
*Audience member answers*
“I don’t know what that is, but we’re going golfing.”
John Mulaney Doesn’t Age
“I don’t look older, I just look worse. When I walk down the street, no one is like, ‘Hey, look at that man.’ They’re like ‘Whoa! That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child!’”
George Carlin’s Advantages of Being Old
“The best part about getting old is that you’re not responsible for remembering things anymore. Not even important things. ‘But it was your daughter’s funeral!’”
* shrugs *
“I forgot.”