12 Mighty Bits of Trivia Forged into Power Coins by the Ancient Warrior Ninjor, Recovered from the Desert of Despair and Which Now Summon Powerful Mecha Beasts from Their Clandestine Slumber Deep Within the Earth
It’s easy to look back and laugh at the follies of the brightest minds of yesteryear.
There’s no “but” coming. It’s like, extremely easy. And fun! Imagine the mental gymnastics people had to perform to explain something as complicated as fertility science: They knew the wet, squishy basics, more or less, but they didn’t have the technology to observe exactly how all that goop turned into a baby. The one thing they knew for sure? God was involved, somehow. That led them down a twisted path of tortured logic, where they reached the natural conclusion that every human who had ever or would ever live must have come pre-programmed into either Adam’s or Eve’s junk.
Read on to learn how that whole mess hypothetically worked, plus a bevy of other bizarre facts about the world we inhabit…
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Volkswagen Requested $150 to Save a Child's Life
When someone stole a car with a two-year-old inside, cops quickly called Volkswagen to turn on remote location tracking. But the representative who answered on behalf of Car-Net, VW’s suite of smart car services, demanded a payment of $150 to turn it on. It took half an hour for the credit card payment to go through, at which point the child had already been rescued. (Source)
The World’s Tallest Man Saved Dolphins in the Grossest Possible Way
In 2006, then-World’s Tallest Man Bao Xishun was called to the scene when two endangered dolphins swallowed some plastic. Aquarium staff wrapped towels over their sharp teeth, while he stuffed his gigantic tree trunk arms down their throats and pulled the debris out of their stomachs. (Source)
Justice for Witches!
We as a nation can finally move on from the Salem Witch Trials, now that Connecticut’s senators, for some reason, have voted to officially declare the innocence of the 12 people accused of witchcraft in 1692. Interestingly, it wasn’t a unanimous decision — 31 brave contrarians voted against the resolution. (Source)
The Heist of the Century Accomplished Jack Squat
In 1943, a team of Norwegians pulled off an incredible James Bond-esque operation to keep the Germans from producing a nuclear bomb. They parachuted behind enemy lines, skied to their target, crossed a freezing river, climbed a cliff face, blew up a heavy water production plant, then skedaddled back to safety. Truly remarkable! Unfortunately, the Germans repaired the plant — and, in fact, increased production — before the team could even throw themselves a victory party. (Source)
Taylor Swift Gave Out $55 Million in Bonuses
To thank them for their hard work on The Eras Tour — or maybe to gin up a nice tax write-off? — Swift dished out generous bonuses to dancers, technical crew, caterers… basically anyone on stage or behind the scenes that helped pull off one of the most ambitious and anticipated tours in history. (Source)
An Infinite Russian Nesting Doll of Humans?
Before science mapped out the more technical aspects of babymaking, human conception was hotly debated among natural philosophers. At one point, two competing schools of thought were at odds: Ovists, who thought that every human who would ever live was jammed into Eve’s ovaries, and Spermists, who thought we were all stored in Adam’s huevos. (Source)
Disney’s Loophole for Paying Sub-Minimum Wage
Joey Bragg, star of Liv and Maddie, revealed that Disney was required to pay cast and crew their full wage, only after a show started its fourth season. Their clever workaround? Slightly rename their shows every three seasons, making them, technically, entirely new shows. That’s why Hannah Montana became Hannah Montana Forever and The Suite Life of Zack & Cody became Suite Life on Deck. (Source)
Whole Foods Profited from Prison Labor Until 2016
Whole Foods, paragon of ethical consumption, was outed for purchasing goat cheese and tilapia from “family-owned” farms that rely on prison-work programs. These programs pay far below minimum wage, allowing for huge profit margins that more ethical sources could never deliver, but Whole Foods swears they actually worked with these businesses to “help people get back on their feet.” (Source)
Matt Lauer Had a Years-Long Affair with Miss Piggy
Lauer made several cameo appearances with the Muppets between 1998 and 2008, frequently revolving around his oft-unrequited romantic interest in Miss Pigathia Lee. On New Year’s Day 1998, she implied that Lauer had kissed her without her consent — and he implied that she was asking for it because of how she was dressed. (Source)
ACAB Means Officer Edgar Mallory
Hasbro’s official name for the Monopoly cop is Officer Edgard Mallory, and the jowly man in jail is named Jake the Jailbird. The mustachioed mascot is technically called Mr. Monopoly, but before Hasbro bought Parker Brothers in 1991, he was canonically Rich Uncle Milburn Pennybags (husband of Madge Pennybags). (Source)
Paul Feig Really Wants to Make a Play-Doh Movie
In 2015, a year after The Lego Movie dropped, Feig said he was writing and directing an ambitious Play-Doh movie: “Let’s just say it’s gonna be a big movie, big in scope.” By 2018, he said it was in “heavy development,” which is actually a lot less promising than it sounds. (Source)
Dr. Merryweather’s Tempest Prognosticator (and Leech Torture Device)
Dr. George Merryweather created this hulking, leech-stuffed chandelier in 1850. As an oncoming storm changed atmospheric pressure, the leeches would freak out and ring a bunch of little bells. It actually kind of worked! But the next step was to write a letter warning of an oncoming storm, which defeats the purpose of a speedy detection technique. (Source)
