12 Elemental Bits of Trivia We Cooked into Highly Restorative Digital Meals Replete With A Vast Array of Status Effects to Help You Weather Harsh Environs and High-Level Enemies
Imagine for a moment that you’re the CEO of a multi-billion dollar, industry-assassinating tech start-up.
Now imagine that you’ve agreed to sit down with a journalist who writes for a tech magazine. Are you going to bone up on some of the core facts and features of your product? Maybe assemble a team to run through some questions you may hypothetically be asked?
If you’re Dara Khosrowshahi, CEO of Uber, you’re just gonna friggin’ wing it. When lobbed a softball question — how much does a three-mile ride cost on Uber, the application that you’re in charge of — Khosrowshahi whiffed so hard, he figuratively shattered both ankles and collapsed into an unconscious heap on top of home plate.
Want to know just how badly he miscalculated? Read on to find out!
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The First Vaccines Were Goop from Cow Sores
“Vaccine” comes from the Latin word for “cow,” because they’d just take puss from cows infected by cowpox, and splurt it up under people’s skin. The worst part? It actually worked! It was highly effective in warding off smallpox in humans. (Source)
‘I Smell Like Beef’ Girl Is Making a Wholesome Comeback
Katie Ryan has been going viral on TikTok for her charismatic storytelling, including the oddly inspirational origin of her famous catchphrase: “It has the artistic value of Romeo and Juliet.” (Source)
Fascists Love LoTR
Giorgia Meloni, Italy’s far-right prime minister, came of age in a fascist youth group that spent a ton of time larping as Hobbits, and making fascist folk music. She’s even famously said, “I think that Tolkien could say better than we can what conservatives believe in.” (Source)
Mammoth Tusks Reek
You’d be forgiven for thinking that all hints of organic material would be gone by now, but people who sell and restore them report a putrid, meaty smell. (Source)
There’s a Secret, Fully Topless Version of the Mona Lisa
There are about 20 paintings and drawings that appear to be of the same model, and in the same position as the Mona Lisa. La Joconde nue is a charcoal sketch that was likely Da Vinci’s rough draft, before he put clothes on her and painted the real deal. (Source)
The Sims Almost Featured Archie Bunker
When developer Don Hopkins revealed an early Sims prototype, he showed off a playable Archie Bunker character, but Hopkins explained, “We had to take him out, he was a bad influence.” (Source)
YouTube (Still) Profits Off of Climate Denial
In 2021, Google promised to pull ads from content that rejects accepted science on climate change. But a climate activist coalition has identified 100 videos, with tens of millions of views, that are still monetized as of 2023. (Source)
Some Frogs Can Hold Their Urine for Months
The Alaskan wood frog has a specialized gut biome that recycles its urea into nitrogen. That allows its stockpile of urine to aid in hibernation, instead of, you know, slowly poisoning it. (Source)
Uber’s CEO Has No Idea How Much an Uber Ride Costs
A Wired writer asked Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi how much a three-mile ride in NYC costs, and he was off by 250 percent:
Khosrowshahi: “Twenty bucks.”
Wired: “Fifty bucks.”
Khosrowshahi: “Oh my God. Wow.” (Source)
Orville Wright Was Pretty Bummed About Fighter Jets
He says he didn’t regret inventing the airplane, per se, but he was not expecting them to become instruments of war: “We underestimated man’s capacity to hate and to corrupt good means for an evil end.” (Source)
Tourist Breath Is Slowly Destroying The Valley of Kings
King Tut’s final-ish resting place is under attack from a destructive fungus, thanks to poor ventilation and mouth-breathing tourists. It’s estimated the tombs could be destroyed within 150 years. (Source)
Sigmund Freud’s Nephew Helped Overthrow the Government of Guatemala
Edward Bernays’ obituary, fittingly, declared him “the father of public relations.” That title is debatable, but he was certainly a thought leader in the field — one of his biggest wins was helping the United Fruit Company lobby President Dwight Eisenhower to unleash the CIA against the Guatemalan government. (Source)
