5 Times Boomhauer Was Secretly Brilliant on ‘King of the Hill’
It’s hard to imagine life in Arlen, Texas, without our friend Boomhauer — Jeffery Dexter Boomhauer III, if we’re being technical. Sure, there’s a lot we don’t know about him: Is he actually a Texas Ranger? Does he use that limousine as a side hustle? Has he considered switching to decaf?
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
Don't Miss
But we do know he’s a reliable friend and sometimes a surprising, if occasionally indecipherable, voice of reason among his buddies. Obviously, we know Boomhauer best for his trademark speech pattern, which rings any number of bells for those of us who grew up in the South. With that in mind, we might overlook how often he surprises us with his knowledge and wisdom. So let’s dive into some of his most brilliant moments, cause as he said, “I’d like the dang ol— I think therefore you are man.”
Boomhauer-Vision
“A Firefighting We Will Go” has Boomhauer speaking in a way we can fully understand. While the other guys are mumbling about smoke alarms and ass-kicking, Boomhauer asks them to keep it down so he can finish reading an article about vintage Camaros. This begs the question: Is this how Boomhauer always hears them? Is this a glimpse into his own reality?
In this same episode, he is also the one who tells the fire chief that Dale is actually to blame for the fire, despite Hank trying to blame the deceased Chet Elderson.
On Grudges
A long-kept secret gets uncovered during “It’s Not Easy Being Green” when we learn that the crew accidentally crashed Boomhauer’s prized ’65 Ford Mustang into the quarry years earlier, telling Boomhauer it was stolen by “Yankees.” Later in the episode, Bobby asks Boomhauer how long they should stay mad at Hank. Surprisingly, Boomhauer tells Bobby that life is too short to hold a grudge and that we should “let ol’ bygones be bygones, man.” Ultimately, he settles on two to three weeks.
Boomhauer Goes Hard
Boomhauer legitimately performs one of the best renditions of “Blue Moon of Kentucky” ever in “The Bluegrass Is Always Greener.” Not only does he play one hell of a banjo, but he has the voice of a dang ol’ angel. It’s completely unexpected, and an utter shame that you can’t buy a full version of this cover.
Soul of An Artist
In “Ceci N’Est Pas Une King of the Hill,” Hank comments on how the purpose of art is to spruce things up. This annoys Boomhauer, leading him to scold Hank and call him “ignorant.” With thoughtful insights on Dadaism and “Fountain” by Marcel Duchamp, he states that Hank insults art by talking about it like it’s “little toys in a museum” and not ideas. I could easily listen to Boomhauer expand on this topic, as he clearly has a lot of thoughts.
‘It’s Like A Butterfly Flapping His Wings…’
“Death of a Propane Salesman” sees Boomhauer sharing his thoughts on the meaning of life. Unburdening himself via his usual rambling, we see him digging deep to process reality, and when you think he’s done, Boomhauer just keeps going: “Man, see, like, you don’t even know…”
This is a very relatable moment within the show that works beyond the comedy. “Well, that’s what we tell ourselves, isn’t it, Boomhauer?” assures Hank.