Jonah Hill Seems As Inept at Relationships As His ‘Superbad’ Character
In the 2007 comedy Superbad, neither Seth (Jonah Hill) nor Evan (Michael Cera) were especially adept at relationship skills. At the movie’s open, both are unattached but not by choice. Need romantic advice? Even McLovin wouldn't go to Seth and Evan. But of the two, Hill’s Seth was definitively more stunted in his social maturity skills.
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
In lieu of actually talking to young women, he opted for subscriptions to websites like Vag-Tastic Voyage, “the one where they find random girls on the street, and they invite them into a van, and then they bang them once they’re on the van.” He openly lusts for his best friend’s mom, confiding to Evan that he was “truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby.”
Don't Miss
And while Seth desperately wants a girlfriend, it’s not for an emotional connection. Like a junior taking ACT prep courses so he can get into a better school, Seth is looking for someone “to bang for two months” so he’ll be good at sex by the time he gets to college, “like the Iron Chef of pounding vag.”
Maybe there’s a tender heart hiding underneath all the bravado? He does seem to have genuine affection for Jules (Emma Stone), but the only way he can see the relationship working is if he gets her drunk enough to find him attractive. He confesses to her, “You'd never get with me if you were sober.”
Yeesh, kid. But at least we can say this in Seth’s defense--he is a kid. He has no idea what a healthy relationship looks like. At least by the end of Superbad, it looks like he’s willing to learn.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to make the same apologies for 39-year-old Jonah Hill, the Superbad star who was trending all weekend for all the wrong reasons. That’s because Sarah Brady, who was in a relationship with Hill that ended last year, shared screenshots on her Instagram Story of text from a “Jonah” as a “warning to all girls.” As conditions of their relationship, the texts asked Brady to remove social media posts in which she wore a swimsuit (did we mention she has a semi-pro surfing career?) stop modeling and cut off friendships with men of whom he didn’t approve. Several users on Twitter screenshot Brady’s Story for posterity:
Late last week, Brady reposted a picture that Hill allegedly demanded she remove.
If Brady couldn’t accept the conditions laid out in the texts, then her “Jonah” makes it plain and simple: “I am not the right partner for you.” Hey Sarah, we’re 100 percent with Jonah Hill on this: He’s not the right partner for you. It’s the kind of behavior we can imagine Seth demanding of Jules, right before she slapped him silly and set him straight.
