Matt Rife Had Beef with High-School Andy Samberg on ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’

The most popular bully in high school is the role Rife was born to play
Matt Rife Had Beef with High-School Andy Samberg on ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’

Sure, everyone knows Matt Rife now that he’s blown up on TikTok and set out on a huge comedy tour. But Andy Samberg and company saw something in the kid years ago, casting him in Brooklyn Nine-Nine as the most popular wanna-be thug in high school. Which sounds about right, yeah? 

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Before anyone was aware of Rife’s (professionally?) sculpted cheekbones, he appeared in a 2019 episode of Samberg’s sitcom as Brandon Bliss, the big man on campus at Jake Peralta’s high school. Peralta had a rough social start as a freshman and sophomore but was turning it around junior year thanks to his new long hair, sweet earring, and budding friendship with Bliss. Until the fateful day that changed everything. 

“He asked me to ditch class one day with him and his buddies, steal a school van, and go get drunk,” Jake says. “But the day before we were supposed to go, someone ratted Brandon out and he got suspended. He thought I was the one who told and from that day forward, everyone called me The Tattler. It was a scarlet letter, and it ruined my senior year. But luckily, I’m over all that now.”

But do you ever really get over getting snubbed by Matt Rife? At Peralta’s 20th high school reunion, Amy vows to get to the bottom of the mystery that still haunts Jake’s soul. Who ratted him out and turned him into The Tattler? A series of twists and turns unwinds the riddle — and Jake Peralta’s police officer origin story! We learn the only reason he eventually landed on the Nine-Nine is because he didn’t steal that school van and end up like Matt Rife, er, Brandon Bliss. 

Turns out, “The Tattler” episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a cautionary tale. Hang out with Matt Rife and bad things happen. Sure, he’s beautiful and he’s clearly been working those arm curls. But the guy is bad news. Except for the time he guested on Fresh Off the Boat — we’ll admit that he was pretty dreamy in that tank top.

@princessoverthinker
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