Donald Trump Is the Only Guy on the Right Who Doesn’t Love Rob Schneider
It takes a special kind of comedian to get their own stand-up comedy special on Fox Nation, and Rob Schneider has proven himself to be just that kind. From mask mandates to Schneider-approved definitions of “woman,” he’s unapologetic about comic material designed to feed red meat to the network’s conservative viewers. But there’s one regular Fox & Friends watcher who doesn’t find Schneider funny at all — and surprisingly, his name is Donald Trump.
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Weird, right? Schneider seems like the kind of guy to tickle Trump’s funnybone. Not only that, Schneider claims in his Woke Up In America special that he voted for the Donald in 2016. Multiple times. "It was in California, and I was writing on my kitchen counter — I had the ballot because, you know, in California, they mail you like 100 of them," he joked. "I was just filling them out. Not all of them. I'm not an (bleep)hole, but you know three or four… five at the most."
It’s no secret why Schneider would vote for Trump. In addition to their political affinity, the two were old show-biz pals, both appearing in Home Alone 2: Lost In New York. Who can forget Trump’s deft comic line reading on “Down the hall and to the left.”
While the two never officially shared the screen in the Macaulay Culkin classic, they did have other run-ins like the time they were both guests on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show. Before the show, Leno tried to convince Schneider to share any Trump jokes he might have in his back pocket. While Schneider demurred at first, the show was running light and Leno asked again on air. “You (bleep)er,” Schneider replied, presumably in his head or sotto voce. But being the consummate comedy professional, he obliged and landed this zinger: “The difference between me and Donald Trump is, when I got started, my dad didn't give me $40 million.”
Yeeouch! If you’ve ever wondered why Schneider didn’t get a turn as White House Press Secretary, this might have been the reason. An incensed Trump looked right at Schneider and let him have it. “That’s not true. That’s a lie. You’re a liar. Liar. Liar,” the mogul said, perfecting a routine he’d use several times in the years to come.
Ten years later, Schneider’s career was in the doldrums. He was depressed after a divorce, barely leaving his house except to shout “You can do it!” in Adam Sandler films. His publicist thought a good way to get Schneider out of the dumps was to judge the Miss USA pageant. Of course, the event is owned by Donald Trump, who came backstage to tell Schneider to vote for whoever he wanted as long as it was the blonde from Texas with the big (bleep)s. It was a chance for Schneider to screw it up yet again, choosing instead to vote for a brunette who needed the prize money for medical school.
“Loser,” was Trump’s reaction after the event. Schneider apologized, not only for voting for the wrong woman but for the Leno joke. Turns out, Trump had forgotten it but insisted that Schneider repeat the gag. After some hemming and hawing, Schneider reiterated the fact that he didn’t start out with $40 million from Daddy.
Trump’s response: “I hate you now.”
