The 20 Best Insults from Susie Essman, the Queen of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’

In real life, Larry David and Susie Essman have been close friends for decades. But on Curb Your Enthusiasm Essman’s alter-ego Susie Greene is quite possibly the only character who can consistently combat David’s unrelenting neuroticism and misanthropy. 

Whether she’s calling him a “four-eyed f–k” or pointing out his “puny arms,” Susie always has a cutting insult at the ready for the Seinfeld co-creator. Even when she’s cosplaying as Johnny Depp, she’s still Larry’s worthiest adversary and an indispensable part of the show. (No offense, Mocha Joe.) 

Given that Essman herself has told journalists that they look like they’re 12 years old, it’s fair to say that her sharp tongue isn’t an act, but an extension of who she is. Consequently, we couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate Essman’s birthday than by highlighting her most scathing burns from Curb. Clearly, even at 67, the comedian can still very much bring the heat.