14 of the Best ‘Jokes Seth Can’t Tell’ for the Comedy Hall of Fame
One of the most consistently perfect recurring parts of Late Night with Seth Meyers is “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell,” which sees Meyers and his writing team come up with jokes and bits that aren’t appropriate for Meyers to discuss or perform, given that he’s a straight white guy. The segment then provides a platform for staffers Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel to show off their comedy chops as they touch upon topics involving women, people of color and the LGBTQI+ community.
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
Again, it’s perfect. How perfect? See for yourself below…
With Michelle Wolf
Shortly after Wolf was criticized by some over her act at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, she was invited to partake in some jokes that Meyers couldn’t deliver.
Virginian Black High School Valedictorian
Meyers: A Virginian teenager recently became the first African-American boy to be named be valedictorian at his high school.
Ruffin: But he’ll still be tried as an adult.
Women’s History Month
Meyers: March is Women’s History Month…
Hagel: So celebrate by giving women what they want most…
Hagel and Ruffin: Quiet tampon wrappers!
Reality TV
Meyers: A new reality show on Amazon Prime Video explores the personal lives of 12 lesbians…
Hagel: Twelve lesbians or, as it’s more commonly known, a lacrosse team.
Belgium’s Skeleton Team
Meyers: An out lesbian recently competed on Belgium’s Olympic skeleton team…
Hagel: Because if there’s one thing lesbians excel at, it’s going down head-first.
Black Superman
Meyers: Warner Bros. recently announced that they’re looking for a Black director to helm the upcoming Black Superman movie.”
Ruffin: Black Superman is just like white Superman, except he has two other jobs.”
With Gloria Steinem
The feminist activist, journalist and CIA agent joined Ruffin, Hagel and Meyers to deliver some jokes in Meyers’ place.
Utah’s Black History Museum
Meyers: The Utah Black History Museum opened this month.
Ruffin: Which I can only assume is a trap.
‘Harriet’
Meyers: Focus Features has released a trailer for the new movie Harriet about Harriet Tubman.
Ruffin: It tells the unlikely story of a black lady who, against all odds, was the main character of a movie.
Black History Month
Meyers: February is Black History Month…
Ruffin: Which means in Florida, today is January 59th.
Beer
Meyers: Two queer women in Brooklyn launched a new craft beer called “Dyke Beer.”
Hagel: Because the name “Busch” was already taken.
Kwanzaa
Meyers: An African-American center at North Carolina State University recently hosted a Kwanzaa celebration.
Ruffin: “How was it?” said Black people to their white friends.
Peach Emoji
Meyers: Serena Williams promoted her line of jeans on Instagram recently using the peach emoji, which many people use to symbolize a butt.
Ruffin: “What’s a butt?” said white people.
Meyers: Do people really use a peach emoji to symbolize a butt?
Ruffin: Black people do. White people use the pancake emoji.
Wonder Woman
Meyers: A writer for Wonder Woman recently said in an interview that Wonder Woman is bisexual…
Hagel: While a writer for Batman and Robin didn’t have to.
‘Person of Interest’
Meyers: The TV drama Person of Interest came under fire recently for killing off one of the show’s lesbian characters…
Hagel: It’s unclear who killed her, but a few suspects have been fingered.