New Seinfeld Collection Offers Jerry-Inspired Clothes No Comedian Could Ever Afford

As stand-up comedians go, Jerry was an OK dresser on Seinfeld. Usually hitting the town in a pair of size 31 jeans (the same size he wore in college). A button-down shirt of some kind, denim in this episode, with a T-shirt underneath. Got a comedy gig that night? Throw a sportcoat over the whole ensemble, maybe a multicolored tie, and Jerry was good to go. 

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So we’re scratching our heads over the new Seinfeld collection at Percival, an East London clothier that “combines a quintessentially British sense of understated style and rare, internationally-sourced fabrics and materials.” Sure, we can see Jerry in a puffy shirt, but an English stuffy shirt? The specialty items seem like they’d be a little out of Jerry’s price range, at least in the show’s first few seasons when he was hitting the clubs. Kevin Hart and John Mulaney can buy the good stuff but according to topcomedysecrets.com, the average working comic pulls in $25 to $50 a show. How the hell are they going to afford this reversible jacket? 

We’re not sure how Seinfeld inspired this plain brown number, but OK, Jerry was known to wear a jacket or two over the years. And it’s going for … (gulp) $385? Geez, the Armani suit that Jerry got from Kenny Bania didn’t cost that much. Similar jackets over at Gap.com go for about $75, though to be fair, there’s probably not a Seinfeld tag stitched into the collar.

So is there anything more affordable for Seinfeld fans? Father’s Day is coming, after all, and ours doesn’t golf. Percival has the perfect thing — a plain, black T-shirt that says “Hello, Newman.” Hilarious, despite the brooding model’s opinion to the contrary.

And it’s only … $67? That has to be a misprint. (Reads it again.) Nope, $67. And there’s not even a picture of Newman on it! We’re certain it’s high quality, organic cotton and all that. We’re also certain you can get a black “Hello, Newman” shirt over at an online novelty T-shirt site for 16 bucks.

Our favorite item in the collection might be the “Pop In” shirt, though we can’t quite make the Seinfeld connection other than the show logo hiding in the drunken checkerboard design. It can be yours for the cool price of $195, or about a dozen of the non-Percival “Hello, Newman” t-shirts. 

Ah, screw it. Life is short, so why not go for it? If you’re an aspiring stand-up comic, why not empty the piggy bank and take the stage dressed in this?

Let’s see, that’s $385 for the comedy blazer, $210 for the Seinfeld-themed trousers, and $210 for the George-and-Jerry-embossed sweater. You’ll look amazing getting laughs at those $25-a-pop sets — and it will only take 33 of them to pay off the bill. (Online novelty t-shirt makers, here we come.)