15 Great Dark Humor Jokes from Christopher Titus
If you’re familiar with Christopher Titus’ comedy, you’d know about his complicated relationship with his parents and his upbringing, which seemed to be filled with horror and hilarity in equal measure. It could be summed up in three sentences: “My mom: Mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: Six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both of my parents think alcohol is a food group.”
With all of that, along with an ugly divorce, Titus’ life was full of darkness that he was able to somehow grin and laugh at. He’s been able to harness his painful memories, crafting them into a 20-year-plus stand-up career that’s still going strong. His fans relate to his dysfunction and strife, able to laugh at his pain alongside him. Hell, it’s safe to say that many have taken Titus’ method and applied it to their own lives by laughing at the rough situations they’ve survived, too.
Since we’re all just laughing through the pain, let’s take a look at some of the best dark humor that Titus has given us over the years…
On How His Father’s Tough Love
On his early 2000s TV show Titus, Titus frequently showcased his father’s “tough love” method of teaching during his youth — even if the lesson itself could have killed him.
On the Death of Dr. Atkins
“Did you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who invented the all-meat diet died a vegetable. That’s a damn good joke. But that joke’s like a Toyota Camry — reliable, not inspiring.”
On the Colorado Springs LGBTQ Nightclub Shooting
After the tragic nightclub shooting that occurred in November 2022, several news outlets reported how the shooting would have been worse if it weren’t for the involvement of an unarmed patron. Over the next couple of days, pundits gave their opinions on the tragedy, especially about hate crimes against the LGBTQ+ community and gun control. Titus went to Twitter to give his take, providing the most Titus response to the situation.
On Divorce
“I lost 28 pounds in my divorce — because that’s what a soul weighs.”
On How His Dysfunctional Family Prepared Him for the World
“Normal people terrify me because they haven’t had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come up. Something little happens, and they snap. But being from a dysfunctional family means nothing rattles me. Once you’ve driven a drunken father to mom’s parole hearing, what else is there?”
On When His Mom Killed Her Husband
One of the most stressful points in Titus’ adult life is when his mother shot his stepfather, leaving him to help deal with the legal fallout of the situation. That said, the story ends up having a bright ending, aside from just being molded into a funny bit.
On ‘Screwed-Up People’
“Screwed-up people are great because screwed-up people have been through some stuff. They know what can happen. They know the problems. Because if you’ve been through a lot of shit in your life, you know every time you see the shit just about to hit the fan — and so, you step to the side of the fan.”
On How He and 63 Percent of the World Will Deal with Armageddon
“The Los Angeles Times reported that 63 percent percent of American families are now considered dysfunctional. Good. Because that means when Armageddon really happens, 37 percent of this population is going to lose their minds. “Oh my God, the world is over!” Us 63 percent? We’re going to go, ‘Hey, there’s no one watching the Lexus dealership! We’re going to the Apocalypse with leather and a CD changer!’”
On White Supremacy and Global Warming
“White supremacy? The people denying global warming can’t go outside in it!”
On Erectile Dysfunction
On His Father and Mother’s Post-Divorce Relationship
“My mom shot and killed her last husband. My dad used to say, ‘Hey, dodged that bullet. Ha ha.’”
On Millennials and Gen Z
“If you’re a millennial or Gen Z, you’ve lived through the worst 30 years of recent history. Imagine being born in ’96, you’re a little kid, it’s ’99, you’re three, and your parents are like, ‘You’re going to go to school. Are you ready?’ ‘Yeah, mom, I can’t wait; I just saw the Columbine Massacre on television.”
On the Differences Between Fathers and Mothers
“There are things you can learn from a father, as a son, that you can never learn from mom. Special things, important things. Like never challenge dad to a fistfight.”
On Love and Death
“If you’re in here tonight and you’ve never contemplated suicide, then you’ve never truly been in love. If you’re in here tonight and you’ve never contemplated murder, then you’ve never been divorced.”
On His Father’s Funeral
Titus built the majority of his stand-up career around his complicated relationship with his dad. It’s clear that he both loved who his father was but hated what his father did, to the point that he made his dad a focal point on his TV show. While some creative license was taken for the show, based on Titus’ dad’s real final wishes and funeral plans, the real deal was stranger than any fictional portrayal.
