TikToker Describes Every Chain Restaurant in America in Terms of Applebee’s

The official slogan of Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill + Bar is “Eatin’ Good in the Neighborhood,” but we all know that it should really read “Applebee’s: We Are Inescapable.”

TikToker Alley Gatór went viral last week with a description of America’s rich landscape of chain restaurants, eateries and grills in terms of its core company. Gatór did not explain her reasoning, because the reason behind her assessment is plainly apparent — Applebee’s is America’s food. So, by extension, wherever an American is eating is, obviously, Applebee’s. Applebee’s is the beginning and the conclusion of our culinary topography — it existed before we were born, and it will remain long after we all crumble into dust.

Much like their signature margaritas, Applebee’s comes in many flavors. Also like their margaritas, each Applebee’s can be either your best friend or your fiercest foe — and they’re not to be trusted with children.