17 Times Steven Seagal’s Hair Dye May Have Seeped Into His Brain
With a history of violence and sexual assault allegations, it would be wrong to wish Steven Seagal a happy birthday. But since he was born on April 10, 1952, and birthdays are a day of reflection, allow us to review all the times Seagal has sucked as hard as Under Siege 2: Dark Territory and Exit Wounds.
Cheers to maybe turning it around in your 71st year, big guy. (And please don’t throw me into a pond.)
The time he tried to entirely change the ending of The Glimmer Man by ad-libbing:
When he claimed to be a NAVY Seal despite not being able to read a map or compass:
The time he literally shit himself:
When he stormed off set and walked right into a lake:
His reality show about being a cop:
The time he slammed John Leguizamo into a wall:
The time he marveled at his own writing skills:
@90sandnostalgia
The time he said his knowledge of karate could bestow peace upon the world:
@the_scotch
His infamous SNL appearance:
Which Bob Odenkirk has a story about:
@mobiwanyt_
Dana Carvey has a story about it too:
@mobiwanyt_
The accent he’s adopted while kissing up to Putin:
The way he handles produce:
His, uh, guitar skills:
The time he threw an interviewer into a pond:
@hercules.1xl
How he chooses to wield a knife in this scene:
@spaceice.movie
And finally, his MMA moves — or lack thereof:
@kiev_aiki
