The Tao of Dwight: Actual Useful Pieces of Dwight’s Life Advice from ‘The Office’
Dwight Schrute made numerous unhinged statements throughout The Office — from ill-informed observations about bear attacks, to bizarre medical claims, to a laundry list of fireable offenses concerning his treatment of female co-workers.
Occasionally, though, Dwight surprised us all by somehow offering up valuable pieces of life advice and oddly intriguing philosophical musings — like if Plato was an unstable Pennsylvanian beet farmer. We’ve collected some of our favorite, most helpful Schrute-isms, starting with…
Do the Opposite of an Idiot
In Season Three, Dwight broke down his decision-making process, stating, “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.” Which is a pretty solid, unimpeachable methodology for the indecisive.
Beware of Dolphins
Dwight randomly mentions that “dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you don’t hear about is the many people they push farther out to sea! Dolphins aren’t smart. They just like pushing things.” And he’s not wrong because dolphins can be gigantic dicks. Seriously, steer clear of dolphins.
Look Out, Life’ s Challenges
When Dwight leaves Dunder Mifflin and is forced to look for another job, he has an admirably positive mantra: “I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.” A mindset we should perhaps all adopt when thinking about life’s obstacles.
Valentine’ s Day is a Scam
Dwight remarks that his perfect Valentine’s Day is being home with “three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.” Dwight’s on the right track here; Valentine's Day is absolutely a money-making scam; he’s just exposing the holiday for what it is.
R Is the Scariest Letter
While arguing over the potential criminal past of “John Grotti" (played by Mike Starr), Dwight quips that “R” is among the most menacing of sounds, saying, “That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk.’” Come to think of it, Dwight’s right, there’s also “terror” and “horror.” R is definitely the scariest of letters.
Nostalgia Is a Weakness
In The Office’s weird backdoor pilot for The Farm, the unproduced Schrute family-based spin-off, Dwight says, “Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses. Second only to the neck.” A succinct truth — we should be more cautious of people trying to exploit our weakness for nostalgia, whether it’s the latest Star Wars movie or a LEGO set that costs the same as a month's rent.
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