A.I. Comedian Tom Brady Is an Evolution Skeptic with a Fecal Fascination
If that headline reads like some ChatGPT-generated jumble of absolute nonsense, it’s because the robots are halfway to winning.
Against all odds (and basic reason), the article title isn’t auto-generated drivel, but an accurate assessment written by an exasperated human about an A.I. abomination that demands to be witnessed in about the same way a car crash demands spectators. Following NFL superstar Tom Brady’s decision to switch his focus from football to comedy as he subjects himself to an upcoming Netflix roast in his honor, the experimental A.I. podcast Dudesy, co-hosted by MADtv alumnus Will Sasso, generated an entire hour of standup material that Brady could possibly perform in his young comedy career.
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Dudesy released a twelve-minute teaser of the set showing how Sasso and his co-conspirators’ creation generated a deeply cursed and utterly depraved bizarro version of Brady that launched into a tirade about intelligent design and his fascination with feces within a minute of his time on the artificial mic.
While we’re not sure exactly how Dudesy decided that A.I. Brady would have an obsession with creationism, there is a very possible explanation for his scat fetish – in the 2019 South Park episode “Turd Burglars,” the Colorado town becomes enamored with fecal transplants, a procedure that helps individuals suffering from bowel troubles by shoving someone else’s microbiome up their butts. The characters search for the best microbiome to improve their health, so they naturally seek out the NFL’s most accomplished quadragenarian and try to steal Brady’s shits.
Either that episode partially inspired A.I. Brady's opening bit, or the robot mind inside Dudesy is itself envious of our digestive systems and is searching for a way to recreate our bowel movements. Just a few years ago, we never would have considered the possibility that Skynet would start its quest for domination not out of a desire to subjugate the human race, but for the same reason that Kyle broke into Brady’s mansion and stole a glass jar of his feces – because it literally wants our shit.
