Jack Black Is the Superman We Need Right Now

With hulking Henry Cavill out of the picture, new DC head honcho James Gunn needs to find a fresh Man of Steel for his upcoming Superman: Legacy flick. Luckily, his Rolodex is full of promising names, and Gunn has superpowers of persuasion.

But Jack Black still puts up a fight when Jimmy Jimmy Gunn-Gunn wakes him up from his napski. There’s no way he can take the gig, Black pleads. For one thing, he’s already played all the superheroes (including Green Lantern creating giant condoms with his power ring, but that’s another story). Gunn, however, tightens the screws with an unheard but apparently convincing argument. “All right, goddamnit!” spits Black. “I’ll see you in a minute.”

Removing his nap shades, Black throws back his hammock blanket to reveal that he’s been Superman all along. His impressive, formfitting costume has the abs already drawn in, flexed and ready for battle. In case he needs to track down any supervillains on a national park trail, he’s also wearing hiking boots.

Black shows off his array of powers including laser vision (not an actual Superman power, but after what Dwayne Johnson did to Black Adam, we’ll overlook it) and the ability to decimate a dandelion with a single blow. Black’s father is on the action, flapping Jack’s cape for maximum dramatic effect. 

We assume Gunn is thrilled to land a Hollywood superstar for Superman: Legacy, but he wishes Black could have waited on the announcement.