How Exterminators Would Kill Ant-Man, Spider-Man and Every Other Bug-Themed MCU Superhero
With Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania hitting theaters this weekend, Kang the Conqueror will be the latest in a long line of supervillains trying to take down one of Marvel’s many insect-themed superheroes. Perhaps in this go around, the bad guy will win, but more than likely, the hero will ultimately triumph — just like they always do.
Frankly, the formula has gotten a little old at this point, which is why I decided to give Kang and his fellow supervillains a leg up by reaching out to a handful of exterminators to see how they’d handle such pests. After all, who better to take down ants, spiders and wasps than the real-life Dale Gribbles of the world?
Spider-Man
Billy Bretherton, star of A&E’s Billy the Exterminator and owner of Vexcon Animal and Pest Control in Louisiana: In the industry, we like to use oil against spiders because their webs can’t stick to it. Spiders do terrible in oil, and I think that would work with Spider-Man too. So I’d lure him into a trap covered in oil, maybe at the top of a building or something, then he’d crash-land in the middle of the street. That should definitely kill him.
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Mark Goban Jr. of ABC Pest Control in Florida: I’d use a pyrethrin against Spider-Man, just like we’d do for a spider. Pyrethrins are all-natural — they come from chrysanthemum flowers — but they’re a nervous-system inhibitor for spiders, so that might inhibit his Spidey sense, which would make him easier to kill. We’d need a lot of it, though.
The Wasp
Jay Lee, owner of Pirate Pest Control in New Mexico: If the Wasp were shrunken down, a good shoe would do the trick, or maybe a vacuum cleaner.
Mike Janus of ABC Pest Control in Florida: I’d say an electric flyswatter might work.
Mantis
Bretherton: She’s kind of easy because she’s so trusting, and so, I’d sneak up behind her with a pair of gardening shears and cut off those antennae. They’re the source of her strength so cutting them off will help to take her down.
Lee: Mantises are very beneficial creatures. I know that Mantis in The Guardians of the Galaxy movies is an alien, not a mantis, but she’s still cool, much like real mantises are. I wouldn’t want to hurt her. I’d want to take her to a safe environment far away from where I’d be spraying.
Black Widow
Goban: I mean, she’s just a regular woman — I don’t think we should advise on how to kill a human.
Ant-Man (Ant-Sized)
Bretherton: Glue boards are pretty good against ants, so I’d get tiny Ant-Man and his ants stuck on a glue board.
Janus: I’d use that cordyceps fungus from The Last of Us. That’s a real thing that turns ants into zombies. If you used it against Ant-Man’s ants, he couldn’t control them anymore, which would make him much easier to take down.
Ant-Man (65 Feet Tall)
Bretherton: If Ant-Man was big, I’d go for the Achilles’ heel.
Lee: If it was giant Ant-Man, I don’t think I’d take that job. It’s a little bit out of my service range.
