‘CNN Is Sort of Trans in That Way’: All the Dumb Red Meat in Greg Gutfeld’s Latest ‘Commentary’ on Woke Comedy

We predicted Greg Gutfeld was going to gloat about CNN looking for a new late-night comedy host. And here is, shouting out Cracked while playing Red Meat Bingo for all his viewers.

Hey, CNN was already funny, Gutfeld joshed last night on his Fox News show. Failed streamer CNN Plus? Hilarious! Chris Cuomo losing his gig? A gut buster! Don Lemon no longer in primetime? Greg can’t stop giggling. But all kidding aside, Gutfeld says the real reason CNN will never succeed in comedy is that the network is afraid to tell the truth. “CNN is sort of trans in that way, meaning they identify as truthful,” the pundit preached. “But they still never really made the cut.”

Now, how exactly is CNN “sort of trans?” Because Gutfeld feels the network identifies … as something? By that logic, we’re all “sort of trans” in that we identify as one thing or another. But logic isn’t what Gutfeld is after here. Instead, he’s throwing as much red-state chum into the water as possible to see how much of a feeding frenzy he can create. Because ratings are the funniest joke of all.

Check your Fox News bingo card to see how many boxes you can check from last night’s monologue:

• Trans
• Don Lemon
• Chris Cuomo
• Andrew Cuomo sex scandal
• Alec Baldwin’s gun accident
• Jessie Smollett
• Chris Wallace’s (alleged) hairpiece
• Brian Stelter
• “The Russian Myth”
• Carl Bernstein
• Watergate

He also throws “Elayne Boosler” in the mix, presumably because “Boosler” is a funny-sounding word. Did you get five in a row? First one to shout it out gets a voucher for a “Land of the Free” MyPillow gift set. 

With Gutfeld at or near the top of the late-night ratings, depending on how Colbert is doing this week, perhaps he’s earned the right to crow. He rightly points out that CNN’s proposed new direction is due, at least in part, “to the smashing success of this show, which happened because of our awesome fans and my razor wit and my washboard abs.” 

But we’re still not sure that his only-conservative-comedy-game-in-town ratings make him an expert on humor. That didn’t stop him from ending last night’s monologue with a little lesson on laughter: 

“Remember that with comedy, the outcome is not predetermined. It's why woke comedy can't be funny. Woke comics are nothing more than smirking deliverers of bitter lectures, and it's a tell that they require you to agree rather than laugh. And that's because there's no equity in laughter. You either laugh or you don't.” 

So put funnyman Gutfeld to his own test--take a look and count how many times you chuckle. Politics aside, we’ll take the under.