‘Seinfeld Finally Has an Opinion About Something, and It‘s Me’: Bobcat Goldthwait Explains His and Seinfeld‘s 30-Year Beef

If there is a rivalry in comedy that could compare to that of the Yankees and Red Sox, it would have to be the age-old acrimony between alternative comedy legend Bobcat Goldthwait and mainstream monolith Jerry Seinfeld.

On last week’s episode of Tim Heidecker’s Office Hours, a surrealist call-in show hosted by the Tim & Eric star, Heidecker was joined by Goldthwait, who took time to air some grievances with his ancient enemy, whom Goldthwait simply calls “Larry David’s lucky friend.” The prolific comedian and film director addressed a 2019 segment from Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee wherein Seinfeld delivered a deeply personal and heavily censored diatribe against a friend of his guest, Bridget Everett, whom most people had figured out was Goldthwait. 

Goldthwait was surprised to learn that Seinfeld sometimes has thoughts about things besides airline food and teenage girls.

At Goldthwait’s own admission, the long-lasting feud between him and the billionaire star of Seinfeld started when Goldthwait went on The Arsenio Hall Show in 1994 and called Seinfeld a “Spooky weird Scientologist guy banging teenage girls,” referencing Seinfeld’s highly publicized relationship with a 17-year-old which started when the comedian was already pushing 40. Throughout the 1990s and early 2000s, Goldthwait made repeated attacks on Seinfeld’s comedy style and public image – in 2003, Goldthwait criticized Seinfeld’s documentary film Comedian, saying “Here’s a guy with $450 million, bummed out because he can’t get laughs at an Improv. Dude, if it bums you out, don’t go on stage. You’ve got $450 million. You can pay these people to clap.”

Seinfeld, on the other hand, has said little to fuel the feud – at least publicly – until he hosted Everett on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee in 2019. In the episode, Seinfeld starts describing the comedian whom he hates the most, and, though Goldthwait’s name is bleeped out in the broadcast, it didn’t take long for viewers to figure out that Goldthwait was the comic whom Seinfeld described as “Not funny,” saying with an uncharacteristic level of profanity, “That’s why he had to do that stupid f—ing voice, because he had no f—ing act.” An increasingly uncomfortable Everett had to remind Seinfeld many times that she and Goldthwait were close friends.

Goldthwait told Heidecker that he doesn’t expect the feud to die until either he or Seinfeld is in the grave. The comedian envisioned an old-west style shootout between the two of them as they shot zingers back and forth at each other – Goldthwait says his kill shot will be, “I heard the new season of your show is going to be called ‘Old Comedians in a Van Handing Out Candy in Playgrounds.’”