'Jurassic World Dominion's Bad Guy Is A Moron (Even By Jurassic Park Standards)

This article contains SPOILERS for Jurassic World Dominion.

Jurassic World Dominion is now available on VOD, giving everyone a chance to catch up with the original trio of characters from Jurassic Park … and also the stinky outfits they’ve been wearing since 1993, apparently. One of the weirdest things about the critically-lambasted sequel is its villain: Lewis Dodgson, who was once just a simple corporate stooge with an evil dream and a trick Barbasol can. 

But in Dominion, Dodgson is now basically the evil biotech Steve Jobs, head of Biosyn, and thrower of random hissyfits. 

And despite being the main antagonist of the new movie Dodgson is shockingly stupid. Like, we get that all of these movies are predicated on the idea that rich people are big dum dums, and their hubris will lead to innocent people being disembowelled, eaten, or disembowelled and then eaten. Hell, the billionaire in Jurassic World bites it because he refuses to hire a qualified helicopter pilot.

But in Dominion, Dodgson makes previous Jurassic Park billionaires look like those velociraptors that can operate door handles. For starters, his evil scheme involves forcing genetically-engineered locusts to attack crops grown by farmers that pointedly don’t use Biosyn seed – which is immediately incriminating.

Weirder still, for some reason, Dodgson hires Ian Malcolm to be his company’s resident guru – you know, the one guy guaranteed to ethically-oppose his nature-tinkering plans, and who has a well-established history of corporate whistleblowing?

And if that wasn’t dumb enough, in the end he tries to dispose of the evidence (the giant locusts) by burning them, then releasing them into the very flammable forrest surrounding his compound. Not surprisingly, they start raining down upon the dino preserve, creating a massive wildfire. Sort of the supervillain equivalent of trying to take a piss in a windstorm.

And this eventually leads to his death, when he’s eaten by dinosaurs trying to flee the disaster he just created. All while carrying that goddamn Barbasol can that the franchise should have forgotten about years ago …

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Thumbnail: Universal Pictures