South Park: The 15 Worst Things Cartman Ever Did
Cartman is essentially the embodiment of every dictator, spoiled brat and selfish jerk you've ever met. At some point however, he exceeds even those expectations, resulting in everyone around him having to pay the price. Here are 15 of the worst things Cartman has ever done on South Park.
Made Scott Tenorman Eat His Own Parents
Comedy Central
‘Member the time Scott Tenorman crossed Cartman so Cartman murdered his parents and fed them to Tenorman in a fake chili cookoff, then licked the tears off of Tenorman's inconsolable crying face? Yeah, I ‘memberr.
Gave Kyle HIV
Comedy Central
Hey, ‘member that time that Cartman contracted HIV during a tonsil surgery due to a blood donation? Then when Kyle makes fun of Cartman for finally getting what's coming to him, Cartman eventually pours his own blood into Kyle’s mouth to also infect him with HIV? Oooh, I ‘memberr.
Removed Kenny’s Feeding Tube To Get A PSP
Comedy Central
Do you ‘member the episode “Best Friends Forever” when Kenny was near death yet again, this time in a vegetative state sparking a debate about whether his feeding tube should be removed or not? Then ‘member how Cartman defies his friends by being the only one in support of killing Kenny so he can inherit the PSP left to him in Kenny’s will? I ‘memberr, I ‘memberrrr.
Feeding Kyle Farts
‘Member when Cartman created peace in the Middle East by creating a fake ginger cow, which was the sign of the end times in many religions? Then ‘member when Cartman threatens to tell the world the cow is not really ginger, so Kyle agrees to be his servant if he keeps the secret to himself, therefore allowing peace in the Middle East to continue? So Cartman farts in Kyle’s mouth and renames him, Fart Boy. I ‘member that.
Abducting Butters For Casa Bonita
Comedy Central
I ‘member when Cartman wasn’t invited to Kyle’s birthday party at Casa Bonita, but Kyle still said he could come in Butters' place if he couldn’t make it. So Cartman tells Butters an asteroid is coming to earth and locks him inside an underground bunker and ends up keeping him there for weeks telling him everyone he knows is dead, just so he can go to the party. Do you ‘member that?
Becoming Hitler For Mel Gibson
‘Member when Cartman reached his peak antisemitism by forming a Mel Gibson fan club which was actually a front to hate on the Jewish faith, complete with a miniature Hitler costume for Cartman? Let’s not ‘memberr this one as often maybe.
Cthulhu Destroying San Francisco
Comedy Central
I ‘member when Cartman summoned Cthulhu from the depths of the sea, in order to get back at his friends for kicking him out of Coon and Friends. ‘Member after that how Cartman used Cthulhu to completely flatten San Francisco with no remorse whatsoever, thanks to his new mythological friend? Yeah, we all ‘member.
Faked His Way Into The Special Olympics
‘Member when Cartman found out that the Special Olympics gave a grand prize of $1,000 dollars to the winner of the event, so Cartman took out every offensive stereotype in the book to pretend he was special needs to try to win? Then Cartman ‘members that he is still more out of shape than most human beings so he fails terribly? Oooh, I ‘member that.
Crack Baby Athletic Association
‘Member the time Cartman volunteered at a medical center to help babies born addicted to crack, but it turned out he was actually filming the crack babies fight over a ball of crack and putting it online? Not to mention that EA Sports was offering Cartman $100,000 for the Crack Baby Athletic Association video game rights. I ‘memberrrr.
Refused To Give Kyle A Kidney
‘Member when Kyle needed a kidney in order to not die, but Cartman was so selfish that he refused to give him one, despite being the only compatible donor? Then when his friends steal his kidney he demands they give it back instead of helping Kyle? I ‘member that one too!
Making Fun Of A Little Person
Comedy Central
‘Member, when a little person came in to talk about bullying to all the South Park Elementary students and Cartman wouldn’t stop laughing at him no matter how hard the speaker tried? Then the two eventually end up in a fist fight, which Cartman can’t stop laughing through, either. ‘Memberr that one?
Pretending To Have Tourette's
‘Member when Cartman learned what Tourette's Syndrome was from a boy at a toy store who was afflicted by the disorder? ‘Member how Cartman thought it was unfair that the Tourette's kid got to say whatever he wants all the time so Cartman pretended that he too had Tourette's just to get away with screaming awful things at bystanders? ‘Memberrr?
Creating A Ginger Uprising
Comedy Central
‘Member when Cartman gave a class presentation claiming ginger kids had no souls, so as a way to get back at him his friends gave him “gingervitus” and changed his appearance to look like he himself was a red-head? Then ‘member how he formed a cult of gingers and organized an evil ginger uprising to cleanse the world of non-gingers? I ‘member that.
Tortured The Supernanny
Comedy Central
‘Member that time that Cartman’s mom was attempting to set him up with different nannies, including a nanny from Nanny 911 and the Supernanny, who he eventually drove insane, leading her to live in a psychiatric hospital where she eats her own feces out of the toilet? Yeah, I ‘memberrrr.
Scammed His Friends With A Fake Church
Comedy Central
‘Member when Cartman and friends created a church in order to ditch school, but Cartman soon realized the monetary gains a mega-church could bring, so he turned the entire congregation into a scam to become rich at the expense of his classmates? You ‘member that right?
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Top Image: Comedy Central
