'Final Fantasy 16' Better Have Some Bare Booties In It

The Final Fantasy games are without question in the pantheon of great series. Right up there with Call of Duty, GTA, and Pokémon, fans have come to expect that there will always be another iteration of the series. Even if those new games are few and far between. The wait for Final Fantasy XVI grows ever shorter, it’s slated to release summer of 2023. The game’s producer recently stated that the installment is going to explore more adult themes. Just like The Dark Knight re-invigorated the genre of superhero movie, most fans are hoping that not shying away from these themes can restore the series to some of its former glory. I’m hoping to see some anime butts.

The first (but paradoxically for it’s name, not the last) Final Fantasy released in 1987 and ten years later developer Square Enix released the roundly beloved Final Fantasy VII. The series has felt like it’s coasting on that success ever since. However, developers are hoping to breathe fresh life into the series, exploring more adult themes than previous entries. The game will be one of the only games in the series to have an “M” for mature rating. 

Which means yes we will probably have to think about our own mortality and possibly the personal responsibility we carry as members of society, but we could also see some butt cheeks. The main character, Clive Rosfield, is a SNACK. And I wouldn’t mind seeing them in, say, a bathtub scene a la Ghost of Tsushima or The Witcher 3. Maybe they could have their leather breeches torn by one of the mighty summons, known as Eikons, and we could see a little tushie poke through. The possibilities are endless.

The series has been criticized for spinning its wheels, pushing out undercooked feeling games. FF7 remake has garnered plenty of fans and the next installment promises to be just as good. FF14 still has a thriving (and fairly horny) player base. But one’s a remake and the other is an MMO where the story is secondary to the fun you have with your friends while playing together. The mature themes explored in FF16 might just give the game the boost it needs to dig the main series out of decline. And nothing helps a flailing narrative like seein’ some peach every once in a while. The game will allegedly feel like “playing a movie”, according to IGN’s interview with producer Naoki Yoshida. Hopefully it’s a movie that heavily features some booty.