The John Malkovich Movie That's Coming Out In 100 Years
The future of movies is full of films that have been announced but are yet to be released. Later in 2022, for instance, we have Violent Night to look forward to, starring David Harbour as Santa Claus. In 2023, we'll get a sci-fi film called 65, and we don't know much about it yet, but that's okay, we have faith. In 2024, we can expect Part II of the next Mission Impossible film. And after that ... well, after that, we don't know much. Movies generally don't announce their release dates that far in advance.
With one exception. A film starring John Malkovich, directed by Robert Rodriguez, is scheduled to release on November 18, 2115. It's called 100 Years, which is also the time between its filming and its release, and while we don't know what it's about, we know it's got Malkovich, and we know two of the other actors, one from Taiwan and one from Chile.
This is unprecedented, a movie made now that no one will alive will see. But humans are long familiar with the general idea of making stuff that no one alive will appreciate. As one old quote (vaguely attributed to all sorts of people) says, "A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they may never sit." Or, if you want a cooler example than trees, consider booze. In Cognac, France, the basis for one special brandy known as Louis XIII comes out of barrels that store the stuff for 100 years. The vineyard has a cellar master even today, who fills new barrels, but he won't be around to drink the final cognac whose first step comes today.
Don't Miss
The company that makes that cognac, Rémy Martin, happens to be the company that commissioned 100 Years. They're storing the film reel in a special safe in the vineyard's cellar, with a time lock that only opens in 2115. If you believe this promo video, someone put a bottle of cognac in there too.
Huh. Suddenly this whole story seems a little fishy. We've actually reported on this before, but now that we think about it, this sounds a lot more like a stunt to get us to buy cognac now than an artistic gift for the future. For comparison, a similar project involving writings that won't be read for a century, and featuring a book by Margaret Atwood, was organized by an artist, not a booze company.
We're not saying everyone lied about making a movie. But maybe it's like five minutes long, and if they're really serious about screening it in 2115, you think they'd at least let a family of preservationists duplicate the physical film between now and then, because film is said to last 70 years tops even under ideal conditions before falling apart. If that time-locked safe really exists, maybe it'll pop open in 2115 and reveal just a canister of dust. Though, maybe a bottle of cognac will still sit beside it, so not all will be lost.
We're talking the future of movies this week at Cracked! Want more like this, straight from your email inbox, without any ads or popups? Join the One Cracked Fact newsletter:
Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter
Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!
For more about movies and alcohol:
7 Fake Movie And TV Drinks That Got Us Drunk In Real Life
Cary Grant Cut Back On Booze By Switching To LSD
Daniel Radcliffe Was Drunk As A Skunk While Filming The Last Harry Potter Movies
