5 MCU Moments That Look Ridiculous Without CGI

4 Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 – The Abilisk Fight Was … Gross

Everyone loves Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; it has action, drama, and ‘80s Kurt Russell seducing women in the woods behind a Dairy Queen – which, we assure you, is a move that only works for ‘80s Kurt Russell. One of the most fun set pieces in the movie is the first; the opening fight against the “Abilisk,” a giant, hideous Lovecraftian monster from another dimension – although for all we know, in his world, he’s the Idris Elba of fanged tentacle creatures.

At one point, Drax attacks the Abilisk from inside the belly of the beast. So to sell this illusion, Dave Bautista apparently had to shiv the hell out of a Godzilla-sized condom.

Finally, he emerges – we’re pretty sure this is behind-the-scenes footage of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and not David Cronenberg’s home movies.

Meanwhile, Starlord looks a tad less impressive in real life with laser guns that don’t produce anything other than disappointment.

Without the laser blasts, it just looks like he’s jazzercising with a couple of modded Shake Weights.

3 The Magic of Doctor Strange Wasn’t So Great In Person

If you don’t count whatever sorcery transformed Edward Norton into Mark Ruffalo, Doctor Strange was the first time magic was introduced in the MCU, leading to scenes such as when the soul of Steven Strange is pushed out of his body and sent on a psychedelic journey through every prog-rock album cover in history.

On set, this existential awakening looked more like the world’s most embarrassing bar fight.

Meanwhile, Tilda Swinton’s action scenes required being strung up by a rig that was seemingly procured from a local car wash.

And as for the titular wizard, he had to fight the forces of evil using two glow-in-the-dark frisbees. 

It’s no wonder he totally beefed that spell in No Way Home. 

2 Avengers: Endgame – Our Heroes Fought Inanimate Objects

Before Tony Stark heroically sacrificed his life (dooming his soul to be forever trapped in the Dolittle-verse), you might remember the big battle at the end of Avengers: Endgame. Memorably, pretty much every Marvel hero bands together to take on Thanos’ army. It was pretty good, but if someone could quickly CGI Nicolas Cage’s Ghost Rider into the scene, it would be perfect.

In person, things were not so epic. Like Captain America’s fight with Thanos, which involved throwing an invisible shield at a man in tights next to a couple of fake trees and a campfire.

And Drax bravely took on a huge, beastly … um, green pommel horse?

Thankfully, in the end, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes managed to stop Thanos and his legion of sentient athletic gear.

1 The Incredible Hulk – Edward Norton Hulked Out in a Small Office

The “Bruno” to the MCU’s family from Encanto, 2008’s The Incredible Hulk doesn’t get discussed all that much. But Edward Norton put a lot of work into playing the loveable green behemoth, starting with the fact that he provided a whole range of facial emotions for his CGI doppelganger. 

To capture the intricacies of the performance, Norton’s face was slathered with some kind of phosphorescent green paint – either that or the visual effects technicians just wanted to see if they could get away with forcing him to dress like he was about to star in the porn parody of The Mask

At the very least, Norton truly captured Hulk’s “trying to pass a kidney stone” face better than any other actor.

To further establish the role he wouldn’t get to play for too much longer, Norton filmed himself performing some of Hulk’s action scenes, which the visual effects department could then use as a basis for their animation. To do this, he literally just set up a camera in a room and stumbled around like the last one left at an office Christmas party.

And, just as a reminder, this was all in service of a movie in which Stan Lee is likely killed by Bruce Banner’s tainted Brazilian soda. 

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Top Image: Marvel Studios