Reno 911: 15 Jokes For The Hall Of Fame

Who is dumber, the criminals or the cops?
Reno 911: 15 Jokes For The Hall Of Fame

Few shows on this earth have the joke frequency and LPM (laughs per minute) of RENO 911. This is largely due to the improvised nature of the show and their incredible guest stars. To highlight those performances, here are 15 RENO 911 arrests for the Hall of Fame.

Andrew's Pleasure Palace

“This is my Pleasure Palace. Pleasure means whatever, I’m giving pleasure. If someone comes over and says hey, would you like to sew something with me? Sure, if that gives you pleasure, c’mon by. If I happen to be nude while we’re doing it, that’s my prerogative, cause you don’t know me.”

You can't go wrong with any Jim Rash clip from RENO.

Natasha Leggero Very Drunk And Extremely Disorderly

“Missy! Missy! You are not wearing any pants.”

Natasha Leggero as the incredibly drunk and semi naked runner is a Reno 911 classic. So much so she shows up in the opening credits sequence. 

Craig Pullin the Serial Killer

Deputy Weigel’s love interest, serial killer Craig Pullin (Kyle Dunnigan) makes several appearances before his eventual electric chair death.

After Trudy finds a severed foot in his fridge Craig says the classic line “Are you one of those drama queens? Cause I can’t have you freaking out every time you find a body part.”

The Dancing Field Sobriety Test

Possibly the most famous Reno clip out there aside from new boot goofin’. 

During a drunk driving stop, Officer Clemmy puts a cowboy through a vigorous field sobriety test including, barrel turns, kick ball changes and saying the alphabet backwards. 

Terry's Tug Jobs

Any number of Terry arrests could be on this list, but I went with Terry giving “tug jobs” in the Tacos Tacos Tacos bathroom.

“A tug job doesn’t come with fries or a sodaaaa.”

It's the second clip in this great compilation.

Keegan Michael Key as the Hypothetical Criminal

Before Key and Peele there was the hypothetical criminal.

Keegan Michael Key has several run-ins with the Reno Sheriff's department, many of which revolve around him knowing about a crime, but absolutely not being the perpetrator. 

“Hypothetically, if I HAD severed the head. If I HAD done it… what would the repercussions be?”

Layoff Escort with Jonah Hill.

Jonah Hill Reno 911

Comedy Central

Deputy Williams and Lieutenant Dangle are called in to escort a laid off employee (Jonah Hill) from the office. Come to find out, they’ve arrested the wrong guy, and the only way to make up for it is to let him hold Dangle like a baby. 

Trailer Trash Water Heater

“She’s a kicker! She’s a kicker!”

Wendi McLendon-Covey plays a strange street woman dragging a water heater in this scene as the sheriffs attempt to get her in their cruiser. Enjoy this extended cut of the madness.

Pantsless Blind Man

Reno 911 Blind Man

Comedy Central

“Watch da poo! Watch da poo!”

When Officer Williams and Officer Jones help a blind man get his pants back on, he accuses Jones of not being black. 

Skip to 7:20 in this video to see this gem.

Dungeons and Dragons with Patton Oswalt

Reno 911 Patton Oswalt

Comedy Central

Patton Oswalt makes many appearances throughout the show but his debut arrest of a D&D dungeon master who actually shoots his friend with an arrow is an all time favorite. See the clip here.

“I’m wearing boots of escaping!”

Nudist from the Future

Reno 911 Future man

Comedy Central

“I am sent here because there is a war between the computers and the humans and the dogs and the cats!”

A naked man from the future with an Uzi forces the Reno officers to take off all their pants so he knows they’re not computers. Hard to beat that. See it here.

The Amazing Grace Arrest.

While searching for criminals who can sing for an upcoming broadcast from within the Reno jail, Clemmy and Weigel have two criminals sing “Amazing Grace” in a lineup. The criminals do so well that they stay under arrest while the rest are free to go.

Catch it on Season 2 Ep. 5, “Religion in Reno.”

The Many Arrests of Big Mike.

Reno 911 Big Mike

Comedy Central

Big Mike (Toby Huss) was actually one of the first people Reno would shoot with at the beginning of seasons because he was so easy to improvise with. 

Mike’s been arrested for everything including fake funerals, having lawn darts in his head, and general meth usage. 

Spanish Mike Alvarez

Oscar Nunez has a few episodes early on posing as a representative from Homeland Security, but is revealed to actually be criminal Spanish Mike Alvarez. His interactions with the officers while in the holding cell are magic to behold.

The Chicken Arrest

The opening clip of Reno 911 Miami entails an accidental call of an “814” or “armed person on a roof.” It turns out to actually be a chicken on the street. Catching this chicken requires every officer on the force and yes, they do put the chicken in cuffs. 

For exclusive ComedyNerd content and more, subscribe to our spiffy newsletter:

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Top Image: Comedy Central

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?