The 'Halo' Tv Series Finally Reveals MasterChief's Butt

Even though its makers seem to have learned that the game they were turning into a tv series wasn't The Last Of Us only midway through production, we somehow cannot accuse the Halo tv series of lacking consistent story progression. The first episode angered fans by showing the Master Chief without his helmet on, the second one confused everyone by showing Master Chief without his armor (thus making him look like the less Master Chief-like guy in the entire episode), and the third episode has hopefully aroused everyone by showing Master Chief butt naked. 

To be fair, there's totally a reason for it, because no way a game-adjacent property would ever show nudity without a “good” explanation. 

Interestingly, that's not even the worst body horror pain that this episode will inflict on viewers. That honor belongs to Cortana.

Oops, not that one. We meant this Cortana.

There's much weirdness at play here, but the cherry on top of the cake is how the supposedly more realistic skin color only managed to make her creepier. On top of looking like what the Grand Moff Tarkin hologram from Rogue One sees when he enters sleep paralysis, we also find out that Cortana didn't hatch out of a USB drive or isn't a transfer from the Uncanny Valley child soldier school. She's actually the result of an experiment that turned an actual human being into a Tamagotchi. This show is such an amalgamation of weirdness that it has left us without space to comment on its awesome sci-fi firefights! 

 If anything, this show seems to be gearing up to give fans at least one thing they want to see.

Top Image: Paramount