Justice Antonin Scalia: Gaming's Most Unlikely Ally

The year was 2011, a distant time when nobody knew how to address violence, a problem now long since fixed. Both republicans and democrats gave the wheel of blame a try, and it landed on “Video Games Bad.” Out of nowhere came late supreme court justice Scalia with a verdict that read, and I could be paraphrasing, “Video games, like books and film, are means of expression which must be protected, so just get good at them instead of crying.”

And that's why video games are protected under the 1st amendment, and nobody can mess with them nowadays -- even though they try.

What makes this interesting is that, in case you're not aware, Antonin Scalia wasn't the cool Justice of the pack. That would be, uh, none of them. Scalia was possibly even the worst of the bunch, a guy who's made his life into a crusade against women's rights. He was so bad, in fact, that the best thing we could perhaps say about him is that he crossed over into so bad-it's-good territory because he at least tried to be a monster towards men as well. He's famous for absurdities like defending that sending the innocent to jail is better than risking criminals going free and for saying that innocence is not enough to get you out of jail.

We'll never know if he was secretly addicted to Mortal Kombat (maining as Stryker), or maybe The Sims after he found out he could build prisons in it, or whether he identified too much with the villains of the Metal Gear Solid series to do them dirty. What we do know is that Scalia was championed by Trump, the same Trump who never missed a chance to blame video games for mass shootings. Of course, Scalia still absolutely sucks, but for that alone, I hope his cell in hell gets like one or two degrees less hot every full hell-moon.

Top Image: Supreme Court of the United States, Konami.