This Tech-Savvy Umbrella Is Fit For The Penguin
This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Storms are pounding the Northeast, reminding many that they never got around to actually picking up a decent umbrella. Don't get caught in the rain with nothing but the fashionable but impractical jacket you got during the fall sales and really thought would come in handy more than it does to protect you from the elements! Get yourself a RainTorch Umbrella with Pivoting Head Flashlight while it's an extra 15% off during our Pre-Black Friday Sale.
RainTorch is an umbrella fit for umbrella-wielding supervillains. It's built to last with a patented FiberCage(TM) framing system that uses fiberglass and metal to withstand high-speed winds and other premium materials to ensure that, when the apocalypse comes, it's just gonna be RainTorch and cockroaches hanging out. It has a one-click/one-close mechanism that makes it easy to pop open as soon as you get outside without pinching your fingers or forcing you to do a humiliating little dance while you work it out, and it's compact and lightweight for easy portability. Seriously, it only weighs one pound. No supervillain muscles required.
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Plus, as the name suggests, RainTorch also has an integrated pivoting flashlight. Whether you're out for a late-night walk in a monsoon or you're just trying to find your car, the flashlight swivels to give you a wide range of light so you can see where you're going. You can also blind would-be muggers! Or Batman! Or the mugger who killed Batman's parents, thus ensuring there never is a Batman! That's the long game right there.
If you have to be out in the rain, at least you can feel like a dastardly badass (and get a little extra security at the same time). During our Pre-Black Friday Sale, you can get the RainTorch Umbrella with Pivoting Head Flashlight for an extra 15% off at just $33.99 (reg. $49) when you use promo code SAVE15NOV.
Prices are subject to change.
