The World's Biggest Glitter Buyer Is A Bizarre Mystery

A staple of successful children's parties and strip clubs, yet the bane of the ocean's existence, the masked devil that is glitter has drawn controversy, and rightfully so, as this manufactured plastic dust never biodegrades. Instead, it finds its way into the sea and into the bellies of fish who surely aren't craving microplastics for dinner. The sparkly particles aren't fun and games when it comes to marine life. And if you dig deeper, the world of these shimmering bits of plastic is hiding one big secret.

If what we don't know can't hurt us, that doesn't mean it won't eventually. For a company known as Glitterex in New Jersey, one of two of the largest glitter-making companies in the world, glitter proves to be a secretive, suspicious business. But what's so secretive about shiny particles? Well, when you consider how much glitter is used in our everyday items, from credit cards to fishing bait (for those fishing every day), this is a seemingly harmless way of using the product. But what a company like Glitterex is withholding is an innocent question and one that is of genuine interest to the public: Who is your biggest buyer? 

A report from The Cut recounts an interview with a representative of Glitterex by the name of Ms. Dyer, who did not volunteer nor disclose information about who's responsible for giving the company most of its profit. When asked if she knew the answer, she replied with an "Oh, God yes," followed by what was probably nervous laughter and a "And you would never guess it. Let's just leave it at that." She added that you'd see some trace of glitter if you knew what it was. Soooo, why is this information not being shared? According to her, because the company does not want people to know under any circumstance that they're using glitter.  

Several theories exist on what the product might be, such as bombs, as a means to track where they've exploded or car paint, though most people wouldn't mind if glitter was in car paint, and it's safe to say most people have already assumed so. So again, the mystery certainly lies somewhere more disturbing. There's been talk that toothpaste contains glitter, and visually that wouldn't be too much of a surprise.

Rocket fuel is also on the table. Maybe what's really propelling spacecraft is glitter, partially at least, because we all know that it works well as a stand-in for aluminum powder and ammonium perchlorate, the original rocket blaster. But why not add sparkly glitter to head off into space with a colorful bang? 

Another use that's been argued is sand. As our Earth's sand is slowly running out, it's probable that glitter could be a component of sand. Sand, after all, can be manufactured from concrete and made into fine rock particles. The glitter may help with aesthetic purposes if anything. 

And lastly, amid the theories, dollar bills are also a possibility. If you look at a dollar, there are small streaks of glitter-sembling markings. This would also distinguish counterfeit money from, you know- real glittery money. 

No matter what the glitter industry may be hiding from us, let's hope whatever it's nestled in is making the thing more "fabulous."

For more of Oona’s sarcasm and attempted wit, visit her website oonaoffthecuff.com.

Top Image: PxFuel