'Bachelorette's 'Kiss' Was Fake Even By Reality TV Standards

We all should know by now that reality TV is "real" in the same way that it was definitely "Mickey Mouse" who hugged your kid at Disney Land, not some underpaid theater kid in a foam suit. So last week on "The Bachelorette Men-Tell-All," when a random woman from the audience stood up to kiss Conner B. the Cat Guy in an effort to rehab his image as "world's worst kisser," it should have been obvious that this, like nearly every other instance on this show, was a staged event.

Yet, there were still those online who remained confused. 

Who was this woman? Was she paid to do this? And, if not, how did she beat the lady sitting in the audience dressed up in a cat costume to the Conner kissing buzzer? Well, the answer is that this woman (according to her Instagram) is a musician named Tara Kelly, and yes, she was hired to be an audience plant. The alleged casting call is right here:

So, for anyone hoping otherwise, no, you can't just show up to a random Bachelor/Bachelorette taping, interject from the audience, and get to smooch with your favorite contestant. And for anyone thinking that this wasn't Covid compliant or that Conner B.'s dalliances were somehow grounds to create patient zero for some sort of cat-guy Gamma variant, well, that's a little murkier, but it's probably fine. It's not listed in the casting call screenshot, but we have to imagine production MOST LIKELY required this audience member to be vaccinated before going to first base on live TV.

Is it still weird, though? I mean, maybe. The problem arises in the presentation. We know after the fact that this was a highly controlled smooch encounter, but at the time, it sure seemed like Conner was kissing some random woman in the middle of a Covid resurgence, and given that context, it sends a strange message. But then again, you're not supposed to believe this show is real. But then, again, again, you're supposed to pretend to believe the show is real (much like Pro-wrestling), meaning shouldn't our reaction be to feel uncomfortable seeing production be so flip about Covid anyway?

It all depends on what meta-reality you inhabit while watching this show, and to even think about it further makes our brains hurt. So we'll leave it at this: Conner is a Cat Guy. Plant Girl is a plant. Cat Guy kissed Plant Girl. They're probably fine. The end.

Other Takeaways From Week 8:

Let's talk about our odds for the next Bachelor because it seemed pretty clear that this thing is now Andrew's to lose. Katie herself has requested that Andrew be the next Bachelor. But what happens if Andrew passes on the role?

Well, Michael A. seems like a possible second choice, but that's dependant on whether he is comfortable leaving his son again to be on the show. Considering he exited early this season because his son missed him, it would seem pretty hypocritical for Michael to turn around and leave him a second time, but maybe they can figure something out. And hey, growing up without your dad around isn't the worst thing in the world. You could end up a comedy writer.

We also have Conner as a possibility, and hey, if he lands the gig, we already have our first contestant in Plant Girl. Conner has a lot going for him because he already has so many storylines to work with (Cat Guy, bad kisser, sweetheart), but he also has a lot going against him because his storylines would be how he's a nice cat guy who is also a bad kisser.

Finally, we could pull from contestants outside this season. Ben from Tayshia's season could perhaps work or fan-favorite Mike Johnson from Hannah Brown's season. Ultimately, it's a crapshoot, but we'll be happy with anyone so long as it's not Pilot Pete returning with his TikTok moves. 

Follow Dan on Twitter to learn more about his upcoming projects and find him on his podcast The Bachelor Zone to hear him talk about The Bachelor like it is a sport. (Because it is.)

Top Image: ABC/Hulu