Um, 'Mortal Kombat' And 'Rogue One' Are The Same Movie

The new Mortal Kombat movie just came out and is surprisingly ... not terrible. Sure the acting is a tad choppy, but It features some solid action scenes and the same over-the-top, gratuitous violence that convinced every '90s parent that video games were the handiwork of Satan himself. Also, they seem to have cloned Randy Quaid and genetically programmed him to have a British accent. So there's that.

But there's something oddly familiar about 2021's Mortal Kombat, beyond the fact that we saw a whitewashed, PG-13 version of the same story 25 years ago. At times it's eerily similar to the recent Star Wars spin-off Rogue One, especially the opening scene, which finds a family man confronted by an old rival at their tranquil, secluded home.

And while most of the family is murdered (or abducted), a lone child is kept safe in a secret underground compartment, later rescued by a mysterious hero (Saw Gerrera and Raiden, respectively).

In Rogue One, we follow the daughter, Jyn Erso, and in Mortal Kombat, it's the daughter's descendent, Cole. Both are soon recruited by covert rebel operatives who are in the midst of piecing together a shadowy apocalyptic plot.

Then they all trek out to a desert palace where that same weirdo from the beginning of the movie lives.

Both groups of heroes have to band together and pull off an elaborate plan to stop the villains -- although admittedly, the plan in Rogue One involves stealing some kind of space floppy disc, while the one in Mortal Kombat features way more punching and disembowelment. But the very last shot of both teases the appearance of an iconic franchise character: Johnny Cage and Princess Leia.

Of course, most of the protagonists of Rogue One die by the end of the story, whereas the cast of Mortal Kombat will presumably keep returning for numerous sequels until we all get bored and demand a Street Fighter reboot instead.

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