Lena Dunham Once Again Doesn't Understand Reality
Just when you thought she'd withered up and blown away into the Brooklyn ether, Lena Dunham appeared to talk to Andy Cohen on his show, Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen. The show went about as well as one could hope until this happened.
To recap for you in case your ears started to fold in on themselves, Lena Dunham cut off singer Dua Lipa's response to a question about poppers to interject with what's clearly a lie about herself. She says she was hanging out with some gay friends when she tried poppers, and then, after not enjoying the thing that poppers are supposed to aid in (butt stuff, for the uninformed), proceeded to eat a whole entire cheesecake.
Andy Cohen is just in total disbelief ("I've never gotten hungry from poppers."), but he's too much of a professional to actually call his guest out as being full of shit, so we'll do it instead.
First of all, the "high" effects of poppers last a good 30 seconds, and that's if you took a good, strong hit. Because here's the thing -- unlike something like marijuana, where you have to really metabolize the substance (i.e., go to sleep) to come down from the high, your body doesn't have to do that with poppers. It gets you a little bit high real quick, stretches your bungalow, and you're good to go. You could huff a gay Scrooge McDuck's entire vault filled with poppers and never get the munchies.
Now, as for the actual cheesecake, it might be a useful exercise to watch someone attempt this.
It took that YouTuber 16 minutes and 44 seconds to devour an entire cheesecake (they clocked it) -- or, in healthier terms, a pretty good 5k time for a high school cross country runner. So this is certainly something that can be done, but at what cost? And why would it require poppers? Is there something about the smell of nail polish remover in Dunham's home that elicits memories of weird birthdays or something? We could play armchair psychologist for hours here, but I'm on a word count.
Lena Dunham has been in the public eye for so long and been criticized from every angle for most of her life. She's been cast in societal roles she probably didn't necessarily want but rolled with anyway. So who knows? Maybe poppers and cheesecake downing becomes a thing, but for the sake of toilets everywhere, we hope not.
Isaac is on Twitter and Instagram @NotFunnyIsaac and has never taken poppers in his life.
Top Image: David Shankbone/Wikimedia Commons
