If Your Significant Other Needs A McDonald's Scented Candle, Now's The Time

If you've ever gazed longingly at the Yankee Candle shelf in Target and thought "I just wish they smelled more like grease and high-levels of sodium,' today is your day, as McDonald's has launched a line of burger-scented candles. Among the many inexplicable details about this endeavor is that it's not just one candle but a set of six that each smell like the different ingredients of a Quarter Pounder: bun, ketchup, onions, beef, pickles, and cheese. And while they're meant to be burned simultaneously, they can't legally stop you from buying a bunch and just using the beef ones.

They can, however, physically stop you, as they will only be available in "extremely limited quantities" and haven't even been released yet. They're currently listed on the Quarter Pounder Fan Club website as "coming soon," as part of an entire line of Quarter Pounder products. If all this hype sounds ridiculous, keep in mind that McDonald's is just planting their trademark flag into an already thriving niche industry of brand-scented products.

An Australian novelty homewares company started selling a "Macca's Run" candle (that's what they call McDonald's in adorably accented places) last year, and it sold like-- nope, not saying it. Various companies have even produced candles in the shape and/or scent of KFC and Nike products. So if unwinding with the scent of Air Jordan 1 Retros after a stressful day is something you're into, rest assured that you're not a weirdo. At least statistically speaking, there's a market for this. (Oh god, is it foot guys? It's foot guys, isn't it?)

While you await your waxy fast food olfactory future, McDonald's would like to also interest you in themed calendars, stickers and pins, and something called "couples mittens" that I really don't want to think too hard about right now. Perhaps its most notable current offering is a formidable-looking heart-shaped 14k gold locket stamped with the Golden Arches and filled with not one, not two, but four photos of Quarter Pounders, one of each kind. And because the human circus is replete with a beautifully diverse array of performers, it is already sold out.

Manna's Twitter somehow also smells like fast food.