Puma's eSports Shoe Is More Over-Engineered Sock Than Shoe

Companies are always looking to establish a foothold in whatever market they can, no matter how tangentially related it may be to its core product. This is why adding the word "Sports" to the letter "e" was all major sportswear companies like Nike needed to see before frothing at the mouth to start making jerseys for eSports teams. Note, I'm using the word "jerseys' is the loosest sense possible as they're basically golf polos for people who roast in direct sunlight. Seeing that Nike had sports tops covered, Puma has wisely exploited the eSports foot space with a $105 pair of gaming shoes in search of a purpose.

I'm joking, of course. In fact, if you argue that it's preposterous to sell a shoe specifically engineered for an activity that is predominantly sedentary, all you're doing is displaying your ignorance on the athleticism required to be an eSportsman. I mean how else are you supposed to achieve maximum stability when you rocket out of your gaming chair to call your opponent to the N-word when you lose a match in during a heated gaming moment?

But, for as silly as their intended purpose might be, they do actually look light and comfy. Meaning it's only a matter of time before 60-year-old divorced dads, that haven't played a video game since a 1983 stoned round of Pac-Man, decide to pair these stylish babies with a snuggly fit Under Armor running shirt that draws ever more attention to their erect nipples guiding them through the Trader Joe's frozen section on their quest for microwavable chicken tikka masala. Truly the second stupidest cause Puma has ever gotten behind.

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