Take a Hike Baby Jesus, There's a Die Hard Christmas Pageant

Thankfully, there will be no tired old "is Die Hard a Christmas movie?" debate in 2019, since we're pretty sure we definitely put that matter to rest last year. Even Donald Trump Jr. gets that Die Hard is a Christmas movie-- although, presumably, he sees it as the story of the heroic Ellis, who just wanted to close some big business deals, wear nice suits, and snort his weight in coke before Christmas was rudely interrupted by a horde of undocumented immigrants. In any case, as further proof that Die Hard is as much a yuletide staple as A Christmas Carol or grain alcohol, there's now a musical stage version in time for the holidays: A Very Die Hard Christmas.

Sure you could go see yet another production of The Nutcracker. But what's more Christmas-y, a bunch of giant mice dance-fighting with a soldier who's normally tasked with de-shelling food or John McClane killing the crap out of a team of German mercenaries?

The show at The Seattle Public Theater tells the familiar story in just eighty minutes. Since firearms are generally discouraged in Christmas musicals, the actors instead use squirt guns, Nerf products, and in one scene, a t-shirt cannon.

And in case you were clamouring for America to finally accept its first female Hans Gruber, here the part is played by Rebecca Olson who, according to one review "gives a spot-on Alan Rickman".

If the show is enough of a success, who knows, maybe it will expand beyond just Seattle. Maybe it will become an annual, global tradition. Then at least we can judge for ourselves if it's as good a Die Hard musical as the one Gene Belcher wrote.

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