Spider-Man Quits Marvel, A New Matrix -- Is It 2001 Again?

We're quickly nearing the very futuristic-sounding year 2020, and with the summer movie season almost over, we're finally getting a glimpse at the big announcements that will guide us into an exciting new decade of the 21st century and- Hold up, why are my jeans suddenly flared? And why is Sum41 playing on the radio? And why is there a radio in the room? Great Scott, we've gone back in time to the early '00s! Quick, buy stocks in furry pornography!

It sure feels like we've leapt back 20 years, and not just because of all the terrorist attacks by brainwashed virgins. Lots of this week's big movie news reads like it came from a generation ago. It's been announced that Lana Wachowski is making a new Matrix sequel which will see the unexpected return of Keanu Reeves as Neo and Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity. Wachowski even said that she's returning to the series because "many of the ideas Lilly and I explored 20 years ago about our reality are even more relevant now." And somehow, fans are again excited about this, despite the empirical existence of two other sequels which we won't name, lest we cause a certain stripe of 30-something to reflexively crush their phone out of sheer anger.

That same lack of about 20 years worth of fan hindsight is, amazingly, also present in another kind of throwback: Sony taking Spider-Man away from Marvel. With the unexpected news that Sony is breaking ties with the Marvel Cinematic Universe because negotiations with Disney have broken down, fans are having a very retro hissy fit about Sony's ability to make good superhero movies. Which is weird, because they've now been responsible for not one, not two, but two and a half successful incarnations of Spider-Man without any help from Kevin Feige. Yet fans are still backing struggling underdog Disney (if you're still pretending it's 2001 again) in their plan to strong-arm Sony into taking 50% of their Spider-Man earnings for seemingly no other reason than wanting to see Spider-Man briefly appear to high-five Dr. Strange in the fourth hour of the next Avengers movie.

But maybe we're just imagining things. Maybe this is just a bit a far-fetched coincidence. Hey, they also just announced details for the next Bond movie, coming in 2020. That definitely won't be throwback to 2002. Which, OK, also had a Bond movie, but that was Pierce Brosnan's last Bond -- a very safe finale in which a world-weary Bond is caught in the sins of his past called Die Another Day.

But this one's different, because it's Daniel Craig's ... last Bond movie, a reportedly very safe finale in which a world-weary Bond is caught in the sins of his past called No Time To D- oh, are you kidding!?

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