6 Glitches That Make Serious Games Totally Hilarious
Your favorite AAA video games are made by a bunch of overworked developers who probably haven't seen their beds in a month, so glitches are to be expected. And hell, if your game is gonna glitch out, it might as well do so in a gloriously over-the-top way. Here are six glitches that turn famous games into unintentional slapstick masterpieces.
The Witcher 3's Wacky Super-Horse
The horse from the Witcher series is named Roach, which is appropriate, considering how buggy she is. She's basically the wacky horse from Disney's Tangled, only living in a world of gruesome violence and wild sex. Roach is so resourceful that she can walk on two legs, defying the laws of man and nature.
Sometimes she switches it up and runs on her front legs, all while balancing a grumpy albino on her back.
And this is probably not easy for a horse, but Roach can sometimes be found doing yoga.
Roach is such a notorious weirdo that even the developers made fun of her. For April Fool's 2016, they released a video in which they claimed that all the glitchiness was intentional, because otherwise the riding would be "too good." To be fair, when she's not being completely, impossibly wacky, Roach is the fastest horse around. Why, she can even approach Flash-like speeds, as seen here:
Related: 7 Video Game Glitches That Accidentally Create Comedy Gold
Naughty Dog's (Accidental) Eldritch Abominations
The Last Of Us features a virus that turns people into totally-not-zombie mindless monsters, but its effects are even more serious than we suspected. Behold Joel's mutant power:
Don't worry, there's a perfectly logical explanation. As detailed by the glitch masters at A+Start, this happens when Joel stands on top of a truck in a tunnel and his body clips out of bounds. After you exit the tunnel, Joel will start floating every now and again, and every time he tries to access the item menu, he'll look like someone who's been exposed to nuclear fallout.
Joel is not the only one to get in on the Thing-style action. If players decide to go back to the beginning in the college section, there's a chance Ellie will start doing some rather odd stretching:
This virus is so potent that it has even infected characters in other games by the same developer. In Uncharted 4, if you jump to a specific ledge and then force movement into the left, Nathan Drake will suddenly assume a rather awkward, somewhat bat-like posture.
But there's an upside. If you pull a rope in a certain way while pressing L1, Nathan's body will reshape itself to assume more Nicki-Minaj-esque proportions.
Related: 6 Tiny Glitches That Ruined Video Games Hilariously
Red Dead Redemption 2's Spontaneously Combusting Horses
Watching a horse drop dead and catch fire out of nowhere sounds like a terrifying experience in real life. Why, then, is it so funny to see the exact same thing happen in everyone's favorite cowboy simulator?
Shortly after Red Dead Redemption 2 was released, players came across a patch of land which caused any horse that walked over it to collapse and burst into flames. Considering that RDR2 is made by the same people that gave us the GTA franchise, that totally seems like something those sadists would intentionally include in a game.
Westworld should fire all of its horse technicians ASAP.
A user on Reddit discovered that a cart explosion happens in that same spot at the end of a mission, so it looks like the horses are accidentally triggering that effect. Also, NPCs are as susceptible to this glitch as real players. This means that if you stand there, you can watch dead horses accumulate in an old-timey traffic pile-up.
Old West BBQs were hardcore.
Related: Brilliant Glitches That (Accidentally) Satirize Video Games
The Rolling Trolls Of Skyrim
Skyrim's frost trolls are 'roided-up giants with the face and charm of a tarantula. Technically their biggest weakness is fire, but players discovered they have an even more devastating Achilles heel: gravity. Or what passes for gravity in this game.
Usually the game's paralysis spells and paralysis arrows have two uses: letting you freeze enemies for a little while and get a few extra hits in, or letting you run away like a pansy. But since the frost troll has chosen to live at the top of a steep mountain in a world of poorly thought-out gravity, a well-placed paralysis attack can send him rolling downhill.
Except even less dignified.
And sometimes, your arrow will even paralyze the laws of physics themselves, sending the troll flying through the mountains like Peter Pan having an MDMA-triggered aneurysm. Look at him go!
Though strong, frost trolls do take fall damage, so let's just say players don't have to worry about them coming back after this. They'd be too embarrassed to show their hideous faces again anyway.
Related: 6 Hilarious Video Game Glitches You Have To See To Believe
Hitman's Consequence-Free Murder
Hitman's Agent 47 will never be as much as a badass as he was in Blood Money, the fourth game in the series, in which he could kill people 1) without lifting a finger, and 2) so fast that they didn't notice they were dead and kept talking.
That's the result of a glitch that allows the player to plant bombs before a conversation, and then set them off in the middle of the cutscene. It can be used to kill anyone who appears during a cinematic, from important characters to minor ones to unfortunate passersby.
The best part is that if the characters die during a conversation -- something that's just not supposed to happen -- the game will rule it as natural causes and won't send any goons after you. (Please do not exploit this loophole in real life, or society is doomed.) This does make things a little too easy, though. Fortunately, the more recent games have made the act of killing much more challenging and rewarding for the player.
Now you have to move one hand.
Related: 6 Unintentionally Hilarious Glitches Hidden In Video Games
Far Cry 5: Nudist Edition
Far Cry 5 offers a wide variety of outfits you can buy for your character, from military clothes to post-apocalyptic clothes to regular clothes to ... uh, no clothes.
Unlike most games, FC5 has actual butt-naked models for the characters, though you're not supposed to be able to play as (or with) them. But if you mess around on the outfit selection screen for a while, sooner or later the game will stop sanctioning your buffoonery and refuse to load an outfit ... which is by itself an outfit. And since this game has online multiplayer, the result is a shockingly realistic depiction of cult life in Montana, complete with the part where some naked maniac parachutes groin-first onto your face. (Ken-Doll-type nudity in the video below, click at your own risk.)
Despite enhancing the game's naturalistic feel, this raises some awkward questions. For one thing, it's nice that the female characters are allowed to have nipples, but why are all the men dickless?
Is every single man in this cult a eunuch? That's gotta hurt enrollment.
Following Tiagosvn on Twitter might glitch your feed into awesomeness.
For more, check out If Video Game Commercials Were Honest - Honest Ads (Playstation X-Box Gamer Video Games Parody):
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook. Game on.
