5 Movie And TV Tiny Plots Most Don't Catch
You've probably noticed a few little details in your favorite movies or shows that seem to hint at some bigger goings-on. But because you're a healthy human being, you don't interrogate these things for hours, and instead just carry on enjoying your evening.
We are not healthy human beings.
Captain America's Retirement After Endgame Is A Nightmare
At the end of Avengers: Endgame, Steve Rogers goes back in time and reunites with his long-lost love, Peggy Carter. They get married, have kids, and years later, now an old man, he hands over his shield (and title) to Sam Wilson. All told, it's the best ending that Cap could've gotten -- except for the part where he has to spend nearly 80 years impotently watching the world get the crap kicked out of it.
He might have originally spent most of the 20th century as an icicle, but by the time Endgame rolls around, Cap has become a student of history. Remember that notebook of important cultural moments from The Winter Soldier?
The page after that was probably a list of horrible but no less important things, like 9/11. It'd break his heart, no doubt, but he'd want to know this stuff, if only so that he could understand everything the late-night shows are going on about.
Between this and his knowledge of all the terrible disasters that have fallen the MCU, this is a man for whom time travel is both a gift and a curse. It's swell that he gets to live a life with his one true love, but he has to spend that time closed off from current affairs, lest he let something slip and irrevocably screw up the timeline.
And let's face it, Cap is a great guy. Those years spent nervously sweating whenever someone offhandedly mentioned Dealey Plaza or the Twin Towers would've killed him. He would've had to relive everything again, a life stuck between the rock of saying something and breaking time and the hard place of not saying anything and getting his happy ending.
The Genie In Aladdin (2019) Got Up To Some Weird Stuff In That Lamp
Every actor who's played the Genie in various iterations of Aladdin has brought something of themselves to the role. In the case of Robin Williams, it was his comic brilliance, his frenetic energy, and his heart. In the case of Dan Castellaneta, it was his ability to disappear into the job so totally that everyone forgets he even did it. And in the case of Will Smith in the recent live-action remake, it was the fact that he is Will Smith. He sings like Will Smith, he dances like Will Smith, and he loooves the ladies -- in this case, one of Jasmine's handmaids -- like some sort of dope royalty. A cool duke, perhaps, or a hip baron.
Hold up, though. If the Genie has sexual urges now, how the hell did he survive untold millennia locked away in that lamp?
There's only one way, really. He spent all that time not just jerking it, but going to town on himself in the most depraved ways imaginable. The guy is a magical shapeshifter with literal blue balls. There's no way that he spent his imprisonment just twiddling his thumbs. He would've done things to his own cave of wonders that Marilyn Manson could only dream of.
It's like how sex in Star Wars couldn't resemble sexas we know it, but in this case, it's a magical entity locked away with only his imagination, rubbery limbs, and (hopefully) a bottle of disinfectant for company.
The Flash Continually Needs To Poop
It's well-known by this point that the Flash needs to eat a lot of food in order to sustain his super-bod. It's in the comics, it's in the television show, and we even wrote about it a few years ago. It's time, however, for us to take our place in history and completely ruin the character once and for all by pointing out how much the dude would need to poop as a result of this.
For real, the show is clear on how much food Barry Allen has to eat. In one episode, his nerdy sidekick throws out a figure of 850 tacos per day, while another episode suggests that his apartment must resemble a somehow more disgusting version of Hoarders.
As efficient as his body is, however, there's no way that his digestive system is so advanced that it can turn 100% of his food intake into energy. Even if 95% gets broken down, that still leaves 5% left to be expelled. Multiply that by the above pile of cheeseburgers, and you've got a character who has to continually choose between crapping his briefs or breaking into people's homes and using their facilities.
Related: 6 WTF Scenes That 100 Percent Happened Off-Screen In Big Movies
The Walking Dead Is Set In A World Where Slavery Never Happened
The zombies in The Walking Dead have many names. They're "walkers," they're "biters," and they're "roamers." (Some would argue that they're also called "the writers.") But do you know what's weird? They're never, ever called "zombies." Which is odd, because that's pretty much the first word that springs to mind when we're talking about the undead.
The obvious implication is that Night Of The Living Dead, which popularized the term, was never made in this universe, and subsequently the zombie genre never took off. According to redditor thecourtmeister, however, there's a deeper implication at play here.
The term "zombie" is widely known thanks to the film, sure, but it has its origins in Haitian folklore, which itself is derived from African folklore that was imported to the U.S. via the transatlantic slave trade. If the notion of the "zombie" didn't exist in Haiti to be cribbed by George A. Romero for Night, then that suggests that the corresponding folklore never made it over from Africa -- which points to the slave trade having never happened.
Considering how little racism we see expressed in The Walking Dead, this explanation tracks. (Presumably, all the black characters are descended from immigrants?) Is it kinda weird that we're jealous about how racially harmonious their apocalypse must be? At least when compared to the one we're currently going through?
Related: 6 Horrifying Implications Of Awesome Fantasy Movie Universes
Li'l Sebastian Is In The Bad Place
The best character inParks And Recreationwasn't Leslie Knope or Ron Swanson or April. It was Li'l Sebestian, a miniature horse who, despite only appearing for two episodes, won audiences over with his looks (those of a miniature horse), his personality (that of a miniature horse), and his memorial song.
Anyway, thanks to The Good Place, we know that he's in Hell for all eternity.
Both Parks And Rec and The Good Place were co-created by Mike Schur, and TGP is full of Easter eggs linking them. In the episode "The Worst Possible Use Of Free Will," however, these connections take a dark turn. During one scene, the main characters are upstaged by a very familiar-looking miniature horse trotting through the background.
We know TGP is probably going to spend its last season focused on, like, the characters and the overall storyline, but we'll be damned if we're going to let this show trash Li'l S's memory without giving us even a hint of what he did to wind up in the Bad Place. Did he kick a toddler? Did he poop on someone's lawn? Did he acc- oh wait, it's probably because he wandered off and got lost in a corn maze that one time, and maybe also because his existence meant someone's face got set on fire.
You can find more from Adam on Twitter! He also has a newsletter about depressing history facts. (It's not as sad it sounds, promise.)
For more, check out Awkward Scenes That Must Have Happened In Marvel Movies:
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook. It's free.
