This Is Probably The Dumbest 'Star Wars' Deleted Scene
For years, it's been an international pastime to heap abuse on the Star Wars prequels. And we certainly won't deny anyone the privilege of visiting further contusions upon a long-dead horse. So here's yet another reason to shun this era of the franchise like a pox-riddled, highly punchable Gungan.
What we're going to discuss here isn't something that actually stank up cineplexes, but rather a deleted scene from arguably the least moronic prequel, Revenge of the Sith. It begins with a parlay between Obi-Wan and Anakin and the cyborg / postnasal drip sufferer General Grievous. Actually, it properly begins (at least in terms of awfulness) when Grievous murders the Jedi Shaak Ti in cold blood. (The second deleted scene featuring her getting unceremoniously whacked.)
You don't need to be a Wookipedia scholar to get aggravated about the next sequence of events. After witnessing an absolutely pointless homicide, the two Jedi immediately begin communicating in the unspoken language of professional baseball coaches while surrounded by dozens of hostile droids, with Anakin rubbing various areas of his face to indicate one approach, whereas Kenobi signals his preference for a mustache-twiddling gambit. Just ... just watch it.
Skip to 00:53 and tell us he doesn't sound like the Cookie Monster.
So was the scene cut because Lucas had a moment of clarity and realized how stupid it was to propose to the audience that masters of space magic spent hours going over secret body-touching codes, and that a gentle stroking of facial hair conveys an entire "cut a hole through the floor and hope it doesn't lead to more droids, a trash compactor, or the cold vacuum of space" series of events? Nope, it was reportedly to "soften" General Grievous. Because it's hard to move toy units when your subject brutally executes prisoners, we guess?
While it is somewhat admirable that the decision was made to edit this scene out of the theatrical version, it leads one to wonder what brilliant notions had to be knocking around in Lucas' head that never made it into a finished script. Let's just say it's probably safe to assume goddamn Ewoks were involved. Hell, at this point Disney might as well give Lucas the reins back and let him take a crack at one the the spinoffs. We're sure he still has plenty of ideas just waiting to grace the big screen. And who wouldn't want to watch an unflinching look at the reality of addiction and exploitation in space jazz starring the Max Rebo Band?
E. Reid Ross has a book called Bizarre World -- order it now from Amazon or Barnes and Noble and leave a scathing/glowing review.
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