Write For Cracked And Get Paid: Here's How

Ever since Cracked.com first went online in 1973, the bulk of its writing has come from regular people like you. Whether you're a professional writer, an aspiring writer, or just looking to make some beer money, we want to hear your ideas. Click on these words to get started.

I clicked on those words in 2008, when Cracked paid $50 for an article. Today you are paid $150 for your first four articles, and $250 for every one after that. The process, in short, goes like this:

1. Sign up for the Cracked Comedy Workshop and carefully read the guidelines.

2. "Pitch" your idea in the format that will be explained to you.

3. Work with Cracked's editors to shape the idea.

4. If the idea is accepted, write up a draft and get paid.

5. Brag about your accomplishment after your draft is edited and published to the front page.

That's it. Some of Cracked's writers have published hundreds of articles, and even become full-time employees. Others have gone on to write for other publications, or signed book deals, or now write for television. For some it's a fun and profitable hobby when they're not busy working or studying or caring for their family. Some people wrote one article for us and then, content to have gotten a weird idea out of their head, were never heard from again. Whatever your goals are, we will try to help you achieve them.

We don't need your resume. We don't care if you've been published in The New Yorker or if your entire creative output to date is erotic Waluigi fanfiction. We don't care if you're 60 or 16. We don't care if you don't know what a intransitive verb is, because I sure don't. All we care about are your ideas. That's what makes Cracked thrive. Somewhere in your head is an observation about pop culture or history or social media or whatever subject it is that fascinates you, and you're the only one who can make it. We want to hear it, and if we like it we want to pay you for it. Talent is helpful, but it's your perspective on the world that's invaluable. Come and show it to us.

There is only one catch: You have to try. If you approach any publication by saying "I wanna write about why Batman sucks, gimme money" or "I didn't bother to check if you guys publish poetry or not, but here are several volumes of mine just in case," you will not get far. You have to read the rules (which are firm) and deal with rejection (which sucks) and work hard (which is less fun than playing video games). But if you stick to it, you will get paid, and your work will be read by hundreds of thousand (if not millions) of people, and interesting opportunities may open themselves up to you.

We do this every year, and every year, some people show up, get mad that we won't publish their 5,000-word screed about why women are bad drivers, call us morons, and leave. But other people show up, learn the process, and eventually publish their first piece of paid writing, and that's pretty wonderful for everyone involved to see. We want to reward people who give a shit about something, whether that something is politics or Pokemon.

If you're worried that you can't write good jokes, then A) you're probably already funnier than most people who think they're hilarious, and B) we'll help you out with the comedy side of things. If you've got the germ of an idea but are stuck on how to proceed, we'll help you improve your research skills. If you're worried that you don't have any good ideas, we have an entire section dedicated to ideas that have potential but need some help. When an editor suggested 5 Pieces Of Movie Merchandise That Missed The Point Entirely, five different writers each found one good example that fit the premise, split the payment, and got equal credit.

Every step of our process is designed to help make you a better writer, because the hardest parts of writing are fighting the fear of rejection and making the time to sit down and do it. If you try to write, then you are already ahead of countless people who claim to be aspiring writers but never give it a shot, and that means you have the potential to learn.

We can't promise you fame or fortune, because anyone who guarantees those things is lying. All I can tell you is that 10 years ago, I had never been paid to write because I wasn't any good at it yet, and because Cracked didn't care about that, I now write for a living. Cracked gave me money, and they gave me work I found rewarding. Maybe we can give you those things too. Click here to give it a shot. If you run into technical issues, click here. Good luck.

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