How Denver Airport is Trolling Conspiracy Theory Nuts HARD
If you asked your crazy conspiracy theorist uncle to list the places where shady business is definitely afoot, he'd probably say Area 51, HAARP, Congress, and -- hilariously and somewhat inexplicably -- Denver International Airport. This isn't an isolated belief. According to professional tinfoil hat wearers everywhere, DIA is built atop a secretive network of bunkers where everyone from the Illuminati to the NWO to the Freemasons are preparing for the apocalypse.
Ordinarily the airport doesn't like to discuss the conspiracies ("Huh, you're right, our building does look like a giant swastika"), but last week, presumably after realizing that modern conspiracy theories are so toxic that "apocalypse bunker for the lizard people" looks quaint by comparison, they erected a series of posters around designed not only to warn travelers about construction work, but also to poke a little fun at the expense of the colorfully paranoid.
In a power move that we wouldn't mind seeing other conspiracy-embattled companies pull, the airport shredded every Infowarsian fantasy out there, from the aforementioned "airport as survival bunker" idea ...
... to the bizarre fascination that conspiracy theorists have with the airport's gargoyles ...
... to the belief that there's a ton of secret societies enjoying a timeshare in their basement ...
... to flat out come at us, bro-style invitations for conspiracy theorists to keep dreaming up imaginative plots.
Be careful what you wish for, DIA. It's all fun and games until someone imagines a child trafficking ring hiding underneath the Wetzel's Pretzel's and storms the place armed with whatever tools of liberation you can buy at an airport bookstore.
Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about depressing history that you should definitely subscribe to.
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