Watch Your Back Mark Wahlberg: DARPA Is Making Spy Plants

Don't be too concerned that these plants being developed by DARPA will gain sentience and try to kill Mark Wahlberg. They're being designed to detect environmental changes, such as radiation, pathogens, chemicals, nuclear threats, and electromagnetic waves. So these plants are meant to be a little more high-tech than a sunflower with a subtle antenna and camera sticking out of it.

But there's a big, glaring weakness with this plant technology, if we are to use them in a wartime scenarios: talibunnies. By the time these plants have been developed, we'll probably be embroiled in another generic war in Afghanistan, fighting the Taliban over oil- err, democracy. And if we try to send these plant-troops over, the Taliban just has to recruit some rabbits and poof there goes our field of $1 billion daisies. Time to preemptively deport all bunnies. #BuildTheFence

For more check out What Stupid News About Millennials Is There Now? (11/14/2017) and What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (11/19/2017).

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