6 Insane Details In Video Games (For The .01% Who Noticed)
Honestly, we don't even know how many articles we've done about crazy Easter eggs hidden in video games. We've got a serious problem, but nobody cares enough to hold an intervention and stop us. And so we continue throwing our lives away, helplessly chronicling each and every bizarre little secret that has ever been rendered in pixels. We're almost as insane as the game developers that keep elaborately hiding these inane treasures in the first place. Almost ...
Fallout 4's Robot Companion Has Over 1,000 Recorded Names
If a game lets us name our character, we're going to name it something stupid like "my dick," because we found paste delicious as children and are now suffering the consequences. Plus, it's hilarious to see other characters say, "Only my dick can save the world now!" Of course, they don't actually say it aloud -- it's just text. To have an in-game character speak your stupid, childish custom name, a voice actor would have to sit down in a sound booth somewhere and read "Mr. Fuckface" into a microphone. Bonus points if he can do it while not regretting his career choice. Hey, guess what the makers of Fallout 4 did?
Yep, your robot butler with the posh British accent will call you "Mr. Fuckface" if you're so inclined. Here are "Mr. Assface" and "Mr. Titties" and ... we could literally do this all day. There are over 1,000 pre-recorded names available, from normal names like Sam, Jane, and Bort to pop culture references like Deckard, Mr. Anderson, Arya Stark, and Furiosa.
Mister?
The game started out with a mere 924 names, but a July 2016 update added more than 300 more, including Heisenberg, Starbuck, Cena, Elektra, Joker, Scorpio, and even Brienne and Phasma just for Gwendoline Christie.
But, bizarrely, no Gwendoline.
How far ahead of its time was the first Half-Life game, released in 1998? Let's put it this way: The cockroaches had better artificial intelligence than most modern games.
Even with the graphics, half of you still twitched.
The cockroaches aren't important or anything -- they were added only for ambiance. And yet the developers gave each one its own independent AI that reacts differently to various stimuli. When you kill a monster and leave the corpse, cockroaches will instantly rush over to eat it:
You'd think a super-secret lab would be more sterile.
What if a larger monster comes by? The roaches will scatter before the oncoming threat.
"Shit, it's Dad! Run!"
If they're chilling in the dark and you turn on a lamp, they get startled and run away:
Wait, sorry, that was just a Snapchat of our apartment.
And that's just to start: Check out this YouTube channel, which is even now documenting undiscovered details from the first game -- from how to soothe a bullsquid with meat, to flying skull physics, to bathroom stall conversations. Half-Life's developers quietly added all of this without advertising it, in 1998, a year when most game creators were still struggling with the third dimension. Meanwhile, Call Of Duty added fish AI in 2013 and wouldn't shut up about it.
You may know Barbara "Batgirl" Gordon, aka Oracle, as the wheelchair-bound, tech-savvy sidekick to Gotham's richest furry, Batman. Of course she has a tragic backstory: In comic books, nobody just slips in the shower. Barbara winds up in that wheelchair after The Joker shoots her in the spine, a scene which Batman: Arkham Knight revisits via flashback.
"Barbara, Scarecrow's loose. I don't really have time for a wa- uh, trip down memory lane."
When you interact with present-day Barbara, there's no real reason to use "Detective Mode" on her (the game's version of X-ray vision). But something must have told the developers that gamers would find a reason to use X-ray vision on an attractive young female, so they added a fun little Easter egg just for them: a painfully misshapen spine.
From her perspective, these are GIFs of her friend breaking into her home
and staring silently at her ass before disappearing.
Yep, Arkham Knight's developers were so detail-oriented they even removed a vertebrae and altered the spine of a paraplegic character, just on the off chance you might perv on her. Presumably, they did this only because they knew someone, somewhere would complain about it on the internet if they didn't. In all fairness, they were probably thinking of us.
They spent so much time on this that they forgot to make the PC version playable.
The Witcher 3: Hearts Of Stone Hides The Villain All Throughout The Game
In The Witcher 3: Skyrim With Tits, you play as Geralt, a monster-hunter-for-hire who is looking for his missing lover, Yennefer (you have a lot in common, like dyslexic parents). Early in the game, you run across a "mangy vagrant" and former mirror salesman named Gaunter O'Dimm, who claims to know you, talks in riddles, and, most importantly, tells you where Yennefer is.
"Look, man, do you have any mirrors, or what?"
O'Dimm appears in this one scene and then vanishes forever, to be overshadowed by carefully rendered boobs and awkward combat -- until the first DLC expansion, Hearts Of Stone. There, O'Dimm is revealed to be some sort of demonic entity that likes to go around making seemingly reasonable deals and then screwing people over. And you're one of them. In fact, he spends the whole expansion secretly following you around. Here he is, just chilling in the background, going completely unnoticed:
Next to the boobs.
The theory is that he's checking up on your progress, making sure you honor the deal. He even dresses up in wacky costumes to spy on you, Austin Powers-style:
He should probably do something about the giant red arrow he has following him around.
At one point, you come across some children singing a playground song, and if you hang around and pay attention to the lyrics, you'll notice this is clearly the O'Dimm theme song:
O'Dimm's cameos are so easy to miss that when the developers offered prizes to whoever found all of them, no one could do it. We're talking about the internet, here -- their absolute favorite things are video games and secrets. Well, those and titties. Which this game also has. Hmm, focusing on the latter may actually explain the inability to find the former.
In Life Is Strange you play as Max, a teenage girl who spends her time trying to solve a murder while also dodging so many perverts it's like a bullet-hell shooter where all of the bullets are replaced with potential rapists. One of the few exceptions is Max's "nice guy" friend Warren, who clearly has a crush on her but mostly manifests it by going for too many hugs. Considering that modern-day courtship consists of sending unsolicited dick pics and ignoring restraining orders, this guy is a true gentleman.
He doesn't even follow this with a "m'lady."
Well, until you see this video of Max in her room, after just waking up:
Did you catch it? All right, let's pause that same scene (admittedly on a different, higher-resolution video) ...
If you press down and start just as Warren violates her privacy, you get to fight Smoke.
Warren knows what time Max gets up and exactly where to stand to get a good look at her every morning. The game calls no attention to this little event: You have no reason to stop at the window, and this revelation goes nowhere in terms of plot. There's no QTE wherein you press X to confront Warren about sexual harassment. But this game is all about characters and relationships, and the discovery sure does shed new light on the part where Max looks inside Warren's locker and sees this:
Not too creepy, you say? Here's what happens if you deviate from the path and visit that same locker during a nightmare sequence:
Those weren't stuck there with glue.
That seems to imply that at least some part of Max suspects the truth. Presumably the sequel starts with her buying some curtains.
There's A Pokemon With 8.5 Billion Variations
There are more than 700 Pokemon, and less than 50 of them are any good. This is not about the good ones. This is about Spinda, sort of a rabbit Teletubby with stoner eyes.
"Wait, we didn't finish drawing this one."
"Just throw it in."
Its stats are terrible. Its fighting style is interpretative dance. It doesn't evolve into something less embarrassing. It is beyond useless. And yet, what makes Spinda unique is that it really is unique. Every Spinda is visually different from every other one:
This is what Rorschach tests look like in Japan.
The body remains the same, but their spots vary. So what? So there are literally billions of different combinations ...
"To Unsubscribe from Poke Facts, type STOP."
Every time a Spinda is seen in a Pokemon game, a 32-bit integer conjures up a personality as well as a customized face, and that integer has exactly 4,294,967,295 variations. And, since every Pokemon has a super rare shiny version, that's technically 8.5 billion different Spindas.
Flooding over the planet, devouring all before them ...
Anyone planning to catch them all would need 2.9 million Pokemon Bank accounts just for Spindas (they can hold 3,000 'mons each). At a cost of $5 per year, your annual upkeep would be $14.5 million. If you wanted to move your Spindas to the game, you'd need 9 million cartridges -- Pokemon fans are used to buying multiple copies, but that seems a little excessive. And the kicker is that the developers did all of this for Spinda. Spinda, who's kind of chubby, probably high, certainly useless, and whose most notable trait goes completely overlooked by everybody. We think we've just found our spirit animal.
For more ways people found it within themselves to waste even more time on video games, check out 7 Creepy Video Game Easter Eggs We Wish We Never Found and 6 Incredible Spoilers Hidden In Famous Video Games.
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