Cracked Round-Up: Tantric Sex Education Edition
We took that class for three damn weeks before we realized it was just a homeless man pimping us out for drug money.
Gladstone opened us up with some words for the people out there who ruin every story. Bucholz followed up with advice for those of you stuck in time loops, while Adam Brown described the worst things you see in a fast food career. Brendan McGinley gave us five movie monsters ripped from the history books and Brockway presented more of the best ideas that will never see the light of a video game. Kristi classed the joint up with cutting edge fashions that are clearly practical jokes as John Cheese looked at the mistakes new parents make. Dan O'Brien closed us out with the insane Spider-Man movies that almost got made.
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STUDY CRAZY
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 Sometimes genius just gets bored.
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Notable Comment: "they were dipping leeches in beer, garlic, and sour cream? So which food chain is marketing this new appetizer."
Funny you should say that, Joshua Jarvis. Buffalo Wild Wings is about to declare the leech platter their first edible appetizer.
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DUMB DIRECTORS
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 It's surprising how much stupidity a little bit of CGI can cover up.
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Notable Comment: "My response/explanation to the 'Die Hard with a Vengeance' plot hole: Simon wanted to epically get the job done and get his revenge simultaneously because he let his ego get the best of him."
That makes sense, Minakou. German efficiency takes another life.
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ARITHME-LIES
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 Math is the father of all deceit.
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Notable Comment: "studies confirm: if people realized that correlation does not equal causation, the quality of all our lives would be 50% higher."
Hellblade knows what's up.
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MAD FOCUS
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 Screw it, we still want laser guns.
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Notable Comment: "Bullets might be good, but they can't hold 80 rounds per clip and turn the enemy into a smoldering corpse."
zecorezecron buys the wrong type of bullets.
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BAD BUSINESS
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 Bananas are the devil's plaything.
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Notable Comment: "Is there some SEO rule at CRACKED that you have to mention DIE HARD at least once in every article?"
JLRoberson, it's more like an ancient blood pact with creatures too fel and ancient to comprehend. But yeah, basically.
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Dan Klein
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 New York in the background doesn't hurt.
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YOU YOU YOU!
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 We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, Ways Your Privacy Will Be Invaded in the Future, Kickass Reboots of Lame Characters, The Surprising (REAL) Origins of Popular Products and Open Letters to Corporations About Their Products. We also have a bonus contest this week: The Fun Astronauts Could Have Had on the Moon
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