CRACKED ROUND-UP: It isn't Summer Yet? Edition

Seriously, it's like a hundred degrees outside right now. Some lady just keeled over from heat-stroke in front of our building, and the ambulance guys still haven't moved to help her. They're just sitting inside their little air conditioned bus, waiting. We tried to fry an egg on the pavement earlier and it evaporated before hitting the ground.

What do you mean it isn't summer yet? Who decides this shit?

With great Internet power comes great Internet responsibility. Cody learned this lesson the hard way when he accidentally ruined the lives of some random fort-building hippies. Soren Bowie took at a look at the laziest commercials in advertising history. Thought nobody watched TV ads any more? You thought wrong. Just like Brockway when he thought buying a classic car meant anything other than answering questions about classic cars all day long. Last off, Dan O'Brien took a look at Bruce Wayne if he had to pick up chicks like the rest of us.

CIRCLE OF STUPID

7 Memes That Went Viral Before the Internet Existed There's nothing new under the sun. Not even 4chan.

Notable Comment:"Oh my god.... People who live on the internet are no more mature than the people who built society."

Scary-Mike, can you really look outside and assume the world operates any other way?

HIDDEN TERROR

8 Terrifying Skeletons of Adorable Animals We've always expected rabbits were hiding something. Now we know exactly what.

Notable Comment: "Hippos are aggressive, dangerous animals that kill more people than tigers in the wild. They're not exactly 'cute'."

Sorry, MasterKat, but some of us happen to find murdering tourists adorable.

THANKS READING

6 Hugely Popular Books that Accidentally Screwed the World Maybe that rising illiteracy rate isn't such a bad deal after all.

Notable Comment:"And Dr. Spock also advocated daily enemas before bed."

MUNDANE HEROES

9 Acts of Vigilantism Straight Out of a Comic Book These folks are putting in extra hours of Badass until Batman gets off his butt and starts existing.

Notable Comment:"Some of these need to be adapted into movies."

You'd do something so horrible to these brave people, megdoll?

TAX TROUBLES

The 6 Most Ridiculous Things Ever Taxed Taxing fat people would be a great way to start the world's sweatiest riot.

Notable Comment: "Great article! Poor Vespasian. Some Emperors are remembered for being amazing, some for being crazy, and he's remembered for... pee."

In some circles, Orangeblossom, so is Caligula.

5 Second Films

The Manliest Meeting Ever This is how Cracked handles every meeting.

YOU YOU YOU!

Awful Romantic Comedies They'll Probably Make Next We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, Other Things the CIA is Keeping From Us, If Classic Movies Got Video Game Adaptations and The Fastest Way to Get Fired.

4.14.11:

Pedal of Honor
by chicagopoetry

Editor's pick:

He delivers more newspapers before 7:00 AM than most paperboys do all day.
by Julius_Goat

4.13.11:

The original project was somehow rejected. It was supposed to be a fountain.
by number123

Editor's pick:

We never saw eye to eye on things, but for some reason I didn't mind.
by AssHolyroller

4.12.11:

It takes two weeks for a douchebag larvae to complete its metamorphosis into a hipster.
by Julius_Goat

Editor's pick:

Sure, when they do it it's called art, but when I do it it's homicide.
by 87gn

4.11.11:

Clown suicides are way more fun to investigate.
by Rockout

Editor's pick:

I... don't want to see the porn being made in there. I think.
by oskhen

4.10.11:

"You ever have one of those nights when you've had a little too much to drink and you end up buying some shit on eBay you don't really need?"
by Mario!!!

Editor's pick:

"Yes, yes, it's long, hard, and full of sea men. Anyone have a serious question for me?"
by LaughingTarget

3.09.11:

"No... No, you gotta... You gotta press '2' to jump to the... No, see, you missed a... No wait, there's the... Oh, fuck it. Just give it to me. I'll beat this level."
by Linux fan

Editor's pick:

Even a Man o' War needs a night out on the town with his Woman o' Love every once in awhile.
by Mario!!!

4.08.11:

The fourth little pigs house was made of ramen.
by hadleydb

Editor's pick:

People who live in spaghetti houses shouldn't throw sauce.
by jtklove